Wednesday, July 3, 2013

A Poem for Two Viral Videos: Best Maid of Honor Toast Ever (Eminem Rap) & Cats Puking to Techno

Two videos, both alike in virality,
In fair Internet, where we lay our scene...

Two rival links for me to click:
Best Maid of Honor Toast Ever (Eminem Rap) and Cats Listening to Techno Whilst Getting Sick

To which video will I feel full delight?
And which video will make me feel a-fright?

Can you hazard a guess?
Do you dare?

For though the choice might seem obvious by title alone
The second-hand embarrassment of the toasted rap, I do bemoan

Techno turns cat puke into a delight
While self-congratulatory white girl rapping turns the maid of honor into a marital blight.

To the victor goes the embedding spoils:





Monday, July 1, 2013

This is a Totally Legit Photo of Me and My Good Celebrity Friend Adam Sandler Hanging Out In the Rain


I was walking down the sidewalk toting my sassy wine purse (#weekendwear), when who did I bump into but my good celebrity friend Adam Sandler (#interrobang?!). My good celebrity friend Adam Sandler is such a legit and good personal friend that he was kind enough to share his umbrella with me when the sky started dumping gumballs (#newenglandweatherammirite?!)

Of course, while we were having this nice personal moment of shared friendship, a paparazzo jumped out of a bush to snap this candid shot of the two of us. It's just the price you pay when you have celebrities as best buddies, I guess.

xoxo,

Bailey

See also: An Open Letter to the Worst Waxwork Museum in America

Friday, June 28, 2013

Oh My God This Video (Douchebag)

So very perfect. A+ would watch again.

I'd let Danny Trejo give me love advice in falsetto any day.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Internet is a Mind-Blowing Place (Kaboom!)

Yesterday, my Reddit curator brought me this delightful Tumblr gem on a silver platter:

Exploding Actresses 

The "Love Movies" video is delightful, especially the final scenes from Pretty Woman, where the reaction shots fit in perfectly with the headlessness.

 

This video so inspired me, I've decided to change my life course and begin aggressively pursuing a career as a visual multimedia artist. My first step was to share my dream with my NYC artist friend, Meredith. I'm pretty sure that's what "The Secret" is all about -- blabbing dreams and manifesting the universe.

OK, Universe, I am in you manifesting myself:

Bailey:
i wish i had the video skillz and the artistic cred to get my own show in the whitney 
this is what it would be giant gif walls of this
i'd make up some bs statement about my multimedia work in deconstructing female archetypes in cinema
literally
haha

Meredith:
HAHA
oh, man, i would spend the entire month in your show at the whitney
it would be so so special

Bailey:
i'd want kittens wandering the floor that you could cuddle
that piece is about subverting the internet passive experience into IRL active experience

Meredith:
ok you could get actual funding for this

Bailey:
man that would be great
and who wouldn't want to fund a bunch of kittens?
it would bring more people than tilda swinton sleeping in a glass box

Alright, NEA, I know you've been eagerly refreshing your RSS feed reader for MONTHS waiting for me to update my blog with my latest brilliant idea. Time to show me that sweet arts funding.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

2013 is the Year of the Melodica

Yeahhh boyyyyyy! It's 2013 and I'm shaking the dust of this beloved, but neglected blog to bring you this critical piece of BREAKING NEWS!!!

 That's right, I bought a mother effing melodica.


That's right, the mini piano you have to blow to play. And my New Years 2013 resolution is that I will learn to play it. Like a boss.

My very first attempt at learning something on the melodica was inspired by these lovely gentlemen:




Now check out my masterful (haha) version:

 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

True Love Spoon Poops: Favorite Port-o-Potty Graffiti Ever

I'm not sure how I managed to live this long without ever sharing my favorite port-o-potty graffiti*, but this Videogum thread inspired me to share my love with the world.

Taken in a hot port-o-potty, Bonnaroo, 2008:



*Totally a legit category of graffiti that is really well overdue (overdoo? yuck!) for a coffee table book.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

A Social Media Fairy Tale with Storify

This is my first time playing with the beta version of Storify, a platform that lets you search various social media streams like Facebook, Twitter, Google, Flickr, YouTube, etc to find snippets of info to build your own stories.

Gotta say, I'm already kind of in love with the creative potential here.