A lot has happened this week: Ellsbury won us free tacos, I got in touch with my inner emo carebear for our annual Halloween extravaganza, the Red Sox won the World Series, the city of Boston went crazy for their victory rally yesterday (and my lunch break thankfully extended long enough for me to see it); Oh, and I'm going to the prom tonight. Dressed as Cleopatra.
God, I love October. (Rocktober, Soxtober, The Only Month Cool Enough to Get Spin-off Namestober)
And today is Halloween!
In it's its honor (ed: I told you I've been drinking), I give you my favorite Halloween-related links of the day:
Dear Concerned, Dude, it's Halloween. People wear costumes. It's pretend. It's I Think That's My Boss in the Bustier and Garters Ween. It's Hallo Hookers and Sluts Live in the Hearts of All Righteous and True Women Ween...
In honor of today being my Golden Birthday (24 on the 24th baby!), I now present you with the most awesome "Bailey Birthday" related videos on YouTube:
This high school awkward Bailey not only loves her Korean boy band DBSK, but she knows how to work that lollipop (a trait all Baileys possess, particularly the dog Baileys)
Bailey Unwrapping Presents
"Baileys Birthday" Silent Chicken Dance!
*Squee!!!!* Chaos with the 6 year olds at Bailey's B-day Party!
Bailey Eats a Cupcake
"Happy Birthday Bailey" Sweet 16 Silent Rock Out:
The Emily & Emily Show (Part 5) at Bailey's Birthday Party--Jessica Simpson never sounded so good
Bailey Downs A Dirty Pint
A Birthday Message to Bailey From Cove (Duuuuuuuude!)
And because I always get totally emo the day before my birthday (and apparently so does this Bailey), I present to you:
"Happy Ass Day"
this is pretty much a video of self destruct. Nothings sadder then remanising on the past.
[If you're only going to watch one of these videos, this is the one to watch.]
After trying my hand at finding love via cheese puns on Craigslist with marginal results: eight wow-that-was-scary/funny! responses, one brief email penpal session, and one quick, awkward meeting at a liquor store later, I've decided to reveal my true relationship status on Facebook.
I'm dabbling with Nihil Ism. And, while I previously was wary of letting the public know my relationship status in their mini-feeds, the attention-seeking drug that is the internets kicked in and I couldn't help myself.
But I soon learned relationships with philosophical concepts are not always as simple as they seem...
Though initially hurt by learning my relationship was "...complicated" via email, how could you deny the 'stache, the appreciation of Love Actually and spooning?
And such inspirational wall posts!
I wasn't lying in my 'About Me' when I said I'd go to great lengths to amuse myself.
Since pirates are so passe at this point, what's your vote for what (sub-culture, non-living) group is going to be The Next Pop-Culture Darling: Zombies or Robots?
Exhibit A (From Flight of the Conchords):
Exhibit B (A zombie fighting a shark, no joke)
Could sharks be the dark horse in this competition?
After going through several sheets of paper ah, "taking notes" during a never-ending lunch meeting, inspiration struck:
If blogging is the best way to entertain yourself while stuck in the office and doodling is the best way to entertain yourself when stuck in a meeting, then blogging about doodling has to be the most entertaining thing you could do (while still being completely bored)!!!
It's brilliant; I know.
And it will be more brilliant when you start submitting your doodles and make all your friends submit theirs as well.
Because you know what a blog full of my doodles is going to start looking like:
The Hype Machine--a go-to site for all things music on the internets--officially debuted it's new fall look today. After shutting down the site yesterday and claiming they wouldn't reopen their doors until 10,000 people were simultaneously sitting on their doorstep begging to come in, the Hype folks finally gave in to temptation sometime this morning and let everyone in with this explanation:
Long story short: we wanted to punctuate the release of the New Hype Machine with something unusual. Inviting 10,000 strangers to watch that moment together fit the bill. We spent lots of long nights looking over all the details and getting the service ready for you. And so we wanted everyone to know about it and see it. So that’s what we were thinking.
To those who joined us and waited - THANK YOU. At 5:23PM EST we had a whopping 3888 people watching. Thank you for putting up with us, even while the service was not available.
Looking over the data now, we’d hit 10,000 if we keep the site closed for 39 more hours. That, however, is simply too long to wait.
Though it was an interesting ploy to create hype (ha!) for their site, it looks like their goal was a little too lofty (10,000 non-simultaneous hits or lowering it to 5,000 at once probably would have been better bets). And I'm glad they gave in because I was getting antsy to see the new design.
My favorite feature (at least of the ones that are currently working) is the radio that plays tracks generated from what the mp3 blogs are currently posting. It also has a chat feature so people can say things like OMG! I lurv this band!! or OMG! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!
Though currently, most people are using the chat to complain about the new layout, since fankid freakout is mandatory whenever a site launches its latest and greatest. (See below for embedded text transcript--cool feature--my handle is scor24pio.)
Though the site is prone to freaking out and crashing more than is really functional at the moment, I attribute that to first day of school jitters and have faith they'll iron out the kinks in a few days. And until then, at least they have a badass error message to entertain me:
Go check it out for yourselves and tell me what you think!
Today is Blog Action Day, the purpose of which is to get bloggers talking about the environment:
"On October 15th, bloggers around the web will unite to put a single important issue on everyone’s mind - the environment. Every blogger will post about the environment in their own way and relating to their own topic. Our aim is to get everyone talking towards a better future.Blog Action Day is about MASS participation. That means we need you!"
What got me thinking was their advice on how to get blogging about the environment:
"Your post can be about anything to do with the environment... What works best is to keep writing as you normally would. Your audience reads your blog for a reason, you don't need to suddenly change your voice, style or emphasis. Simply find an angle on your regular postings which relates to the environment."
"Anything" you say?
Since yesterday's sports post was more about half-naked Scott Bakulas and leather daddies than sports, DivMo's proportional response to the weighty environmental issue is to post the following picture:
Here's a perfect example of standing in the wrong place at the wrong time while delivering the weather in front of the Doppler blue screen. Kids, really, do not try this at home without adult supervision.
But seriously folks, let's all try to do something decent for the environment today. Because I love fall and it's a damn shame we're already halfway through October and it's just starting to cool down now.
(I'm going to recycle the two cans sitting on my desk! Woo!)
Another way I plan on helping the environment today is to just say no to Carrot Top. I'm not exactly sure how he's damaging the environment, but looking like that cannot be making Mother Earth very happy.
Brace yourselves, I'm about to make you watch a Nickelback video. Every time I hear their new single "Rockstar" on the radio, there is a moment about 1:50 minutes in that makes me giggle and clap my hands with glee. While it's true myriad stimuli can provoke such a response in me, this one is particularly noteworthy because its source is my very passionate loathing/loving relationship with talk-singing in music.
There is something magical about the moment that the singer decides--No, this moment, this moment right here is too big for singing! It needs something more, something more powerful! It needs talking! Right here I'm going to stop the singing and just talk out how I'm feeling.
Sometimes, the talk is seductive. Take for example the classic Boyz II Men slow jam "End of the Road": nothing says "Baby forgive me" quite like a guy actually saying "Baby forgive me."
And just to make this trip down talk-sing lane all the merrier, I managed to find a video on YouTube that features "End of the Road" created--quite possibly--by the only person in the world that believes "you" is spelled "yooh." But otherwise, she gives amazing advice.
Best video moment (for the lazy)
If yooh looked deep inside a girl... ...yooh would see how much she really cries...
Which happens to scroll across the screen as the Boyz are singing "It's only your first time." Amazing.
Sometimes the talk-sing is used to quickly tell an otherwise lengthy story, as is the case of the Shangri-Las' "The Leader of the Pack." Perhaps even more entertaining than the "yooh" video--at least in watch-ability--is this slash re-imagining of Harry Potter as The Leader and Draco as his writhing love interest. I kid you not.
And then of course, there is Nickelback's use of talk-sing, which has quickly eclipsed all other forms as my new favorite: The creepy background talker (CBT). If you're not familiar with "Rockstar"--God love you--the general gist of the song is a call and response where the Nickelback guy lists aspects of the rock life (circa 1983) that he would like to emulate with the CBT giving breathy feedback the entire time.
The line in question is around 1:50 on the video (for those who'd like to skip ahead) where Nickelback guy directly contradicts an earlier line claiming "We'll all stay skinny 'cus we just won't eat":
Sign a couple autographs so I can eat my meals for free CBT: I'll have the quesadilla...uh huh...
The quesadilla? Seriously? Is it just me or is that the pussiest, most non-rockstarian food order ever? Only in a Canadian, lite-rawk infused world would rockstars eat quesadillas.
Britney should watch this video and take notes on how lip synching is really done.
BONUS TRACK! Honorable mention goes to that sketchy Aqua dude for the perviest chorus in all of pop music: "Come on Barbie let's go party."
And to accompany the tone of this track, I give you a video created by my (future) boyfriends. Enjoy!
Despite my previously stated position on A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila, I found myself inextricably drawn to the first episode (read: the remote was across the room and I was feeling unmotivated).
But to my perverse, reality-tv addled brain's delight this show provided more insane quotes-per-minute than a punny episode of MTV's script-o-reality dating show Next.
To wit (ha!):
"I've never been with an Asian girl before, but I love Chinese food."
"Could we have sex with her in this house?"
"You put 100 percent of my accent and 100 percent of my cooking and that's 200% of a chance."
"I'm going to be your hot sausage for the night."
"There was a huge vibration in between my legs. It was like 3rd world war."
"This is straight up Wal-mart: 30 bucks this, 30 bucks that."--Guy describing the jewelry he gave Tila (apparently all men were required to bring a gift).
"Only two things I do that force me to break a sweat: sex and drums."--This dude gave her his drum sticks.
"I come from living on my mom's couch last week to meeting you."--And this dude gave her a pillow with his face on it.
"I wouldn't normally go for him, but something about him is kinda...kinda cute." Tila-code for my producers are making me keep this weirdo.
"I'm disheartened because I'm not used to rejection, but I can beat to the rhythm of my own drum."--Tila didn't dig the drum sticks.
"Nobody's taking her virginity ever, but me."--Tila on a newbie lesbo.
"When I looked back it looked like the lesbian village people."
"This house is like The Real World... on crack."
Could this reality show really fill the dumpster-sized hole in my heart The Pick Up Artist left behind?
You might scoff now, but just watch the final clip of the show and tell me you're not instantly addicted. I dare you.
Could it be true? Could Wal-mart actually be destroyed by low-priced, higher-quality competitors?
Though my blue-blood northern counterparts will dance like victorious savages when Wal-mart's death knell rings, the southern in me holds out hope that the evil beast will keep on living.
This afternoon, while playing a rousing round of the "Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Game"* on Craigslist with my favorite co-ILL (internet love lurker) Jeremy, I was inspired to craft my own love missive.
(Full disclosure: my other inspiration for my CL post was my misreading of the word "Cuddle" in one post title as "Curdle.") The rest, as they say, is internet history:
The text, for those too lazy to click on the image to make it bigger (with an extra helping of cheese from Jer):
Let's Curdle!
I'm looking for a man that likes it his whey... If you like cottage cheese you'll love curdling with me! I'm a sweet curd girl with enough lumps and humps to keep your dairy tooth satisfied. Are you feta-up with the girls you're meeting? The single life left you feeling bleu? I'll brie your Little Miss Muffet, sit on your tuffet and make you feel gouda. Get in touch if you think we colby a good match! Just don't send me a picture of your pepper, jack. [Fat free American singles only please. No grating personalities.]
Then, I--swelling with pride at my accomplishment and knowing that, given the way life seems to work out for me, this quite possibly could be the way I meet my soulmate--left my computer unattended to go out for a run in the real outdoors.
No sooner do I come back--Less than 1/2 an hour later!--and I see DRAT! my post has been maliciously flagged and dragged off the Craigslist servers.
DAMN YOU CRAIGSLIST! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME FIND TRUE LOVE!
But I refused to be deterred! The post was going back up! With this sweet little addendum at the end:
Please don't flag me, because I'm cheesy; I'm here looking for love too--for realsy!
I again leave my computer unattended to take a shower and when I return GOOD GOD WHYYY??? my post has been flagged and dragged off YET AGAIN!
But in the face of all this hate, my resolved churned into a hard knot and I recrafted, retooled, and posted yet again:
Looking for a man who isn't afraid to get a little cheesy... - 24
I'm looking for a man that likes it his whey...
Are you feta-up with the girls you're meeting? The single life left you feeling bleu? Well I'm nacho average girl!
I'm looking to brie the best woman I can be for my man and make him feel gouda.
Get in touch if you think we colby a good match! (Just don't send me a picture of your pepper, jack.)
Fat free American singles only please. No grating personalities or lactose post intolerance.
Just because I'm sometimes punny, doesn't mean my mouth's not near my money.
It has been up for almost half an hour now and I've already received 6 replies, including one date invitation from a guy who looks like Doogie Howser.
This just goes to prove, I might be mildly lactose intolerant, but love is not!
There will be updates folks! Stay Tuned!
*Objective of the "Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Game": Pick out the most attractive, mentally well-adjusted and all-around suitable match for your playing partner. Rules: Make like it's opposite day and find someone totally twisted. The Winner: Everybody who plays the game wins! (Except the people whose desperate pleas for love and affection you're mocking. But they won't find out, so, ah... Everybody wins!)
Bailey Triggs is the premiere Awfsome-ologist of her generation. She spends her free time culling the internets for the most frightening, discomforting, and hilarious things she can find. Her (unhealthy) obsessions include fanfiction, emo kids, and reality tv dating shows.
DivMo: Bloggy style since 2007.
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Meet Prince Sparkly FishHorse:
Hi, my name is FiHo! I'm so happy DivMo adopted me and rescued me from that Angelfire site! I love to blink and wiggle my tail! And watch trashy reality TV!
I love comments, fan mail, and handmade declarations of undying devotion to diverted motion. (Also enjoy rhyming and horrific puns. You have been forewarned.)
