Terminal Diseases: Not Just For The Living Anymore [Oh, My! Little (Dying!) Pony]

As I told you last week, My Little Pony and I have become very close. Lady and I ride over hilly countryside of my bed whinnying with glee, brush our hair to a super luxurious shine, and take new social network profile pictures of ourselves all the time! You might recognize this gem if you're our Facebook friend:

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my My Little Pony!

So of course, like a good pony BFF, I've done some research on how best to love and care for Lady. And boy did I find a doozy of a site to answer all my pony-related questions: The My Little Pony F.A.Q.

Run by Silverdawn and Odin Deathcrush aka Mischief Pony (!!), the My Little Pony F.A.Q. offers up myriad pony information. And let me tell you, I thought I knew, but I had NO IDEA!

For example, do you know how to tell the difference between a FF pony and a CF pony?

Or that a MIB G1, SS MLP from the DV is VHTF? IMHO.

Silverdawn and Deathcrush aka Mischief Pony also offer helpful tips on Re-Pinking/Dying Pony Hair, Styling and Curly Pony Hair, and Rerooting (!) Pony Hair. (Haha, My Little Pony hairplugs...)

But of all the helpful styling tips and pony-slang I learned from this site, there was one link that scared the crap out of me: Pony Cancer. OMG, guys. Just listen to this:

Pony cancer or, as it is officially known in the toy collecting community, vinyl discoloration syndrome, is a permanent discoloration and deterioration of the vinyl used to make my little pony and all other lines of toys and actions figures of the 70's and 80's. It comes from any number of conditions: having water trapped in the inside of their bodies, being stored in high humidity and high heat areas, poor plastic setting at the factory, and it can spread from other ponies who already have it.

Not only can Lady catch 4 different types of Pony Cancer: Center Mold, Water Mold, Regrind and Pin Dot, but it's contagious. My Little Pony could give me My Little Case of Contagious Cancer!

Just look at her, there's got to be some cancer--or worse!--going on in there:


OMG, I'M SRSLY GOING TO DIE.