Most Disturbingly Amazing Way to Spend Your Friday Afternoon [Let's Make Babies!]

There are no words to describe how excited I am about MakeMeBabies.com.

There are hours and hours and hours and hours of distressing amusement at your fingertips people!

Have you ever wondered what your baby would look like if you mated with yourself? What about the mating of an Emo Carebear and a Cross-Dressing Circus Man?

Make Me Babies can show you EXACTLY what that improbable union would look like!

Take Mommy Bear:

And add Circus Daddy:

And you get....

Could that be?! Is it actually...

Lesbian Lindsey Lohan lover Samantha Ronson?!?!!!

Seriously! The hair, those eyes, that nose! If I ever manage to impregnate myself with myself, I'll be able to create a lesbian gossip-mag juggernaut!

Needing relief from that terrifying discovery, I decided to have a baby with Paul Rudd:

Um, since when did babies come out with full heads of braided hair and looking at least 4 years old?! Friends voted Baby Awesomeous "smarmy and a bit condescending" with "creepily small features." But like wouldn't you be a bit condescending too if you had the most awesome parents in the world?

Feeling a bit rejected by my attempt to procreate attractively with Paul Rudd, I lowered my standards and popped one out for Teen Wolf:

Wolf Baby was voted "a smooth and pretty baby" but "the right eye is a little... suspicious." I mean come on guys, you can't expect perfection with an inter-species baby! No matter how smooth it comes out.

It was time to make one final try of it.

There was no one left to turn to except the villain of my new favorite movie (seriously guys, I saw The Dark Knight last night and it's even better than the hype, especially when you're sitting in IMAX vibrating chairs... and you wonder how I got pregnant?!): The Joker.

With little left to hope for, I pushed "Proceed" with all my might...

And the verdict.....?!

"um... that child is adorable... which is scary"

Who knew my dream genetic match would be a psychotic fictional character!? And here I've been wasting my time trying to find real (non-crazy) guys to date when all this time I should have been looking for fantasy homicidal maniacs!

Thanks MakeMeBabies.com!