First, this pretty hilarious video about fonts courtesy of the College Humor gang. Despite my strong feelings about Comic Sans, this was pretty great:
And second, this artist named Zak Smith has made an illustration for every page of Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow.
For example, here's Page 1's illustration for "Beyond the Zero."
You can find the rest of the illustrations on Zach's site. They were part of the Whitney Museum's 2004 Biennial and are now part of the Walker Art Center's collection in Minneapolis.
For those unfamiliar, Gravity's Rainbow is the book you trot out at parties when playing the How Pretentious is My Dickishness Game. (I've read it twice since I'm totes pretentious and have a Biggish Dickish. I just write in LOL-internets speak to reach my wikipedia-mushed-minded readership out there! Hi Guys!)
Hat tips go out to the gang at Videogum and Mike for the links.
I promise I have something way less dorky and more low-brow in store for you tomorrow!
That's right. I, like everyone else in the world, have seen The Dark Knight. And I, like everyone else in the world, thought it was OMG Best Movie Evaaahzz!! It's only been out for a weekend but is already like #4 on the super-official IMDB Bestie Movie Evaaahzz List guys! For serious: Go see it!
But why take my word for it when famous YouTube reviewer Sexman--who is neither a man, nor has probably ever had sex--can say everything I felt about movie while adding 10xs more "uh"s and "um"s and 500xs more voice cracks than I could ever pull off:
Not only do you get the great action and acting in this movie, but you get a second chance to giggle at Christian Bale's completely ridiculous breathy Bat-manly voice.
The real tragedy is that there are too few Bale Batman-voice parodies on YouTube for me to giggle over. Internet gods: Get on it!
There are no words to describe how excited I am about MakeMeBabies.com.
There are hours and hours and hours and hours of distressing amusement at your fingertips people!
Have you ever wondered what your baby would look like if you mated with yourself? What about the mating of an Emo Carebear and a Cross-Dressing Circus Man?
Make Me Babies can show you EXACTLY what that improbable union would look like!
Take Mommy Bear:
And add Circus Daddy:
And you get....
Could that be?! Is it actually...
Lesbian Lindsey Lohan lover Samantha Ronson?!?!!!
Seriously! The hair, those eyes, that nose! If I ever manage to impregnate myself with myself, I'll be able to create a lesbian gossip-mag juggernaut!
Needing relief from that terrifying discovery, I decided to have a baby with Paul Rudd:
Um, since when did babies come out with full heads of braided hair and looking at least 4 years old?! Friends voted Baby Awesomeous "smarmy and a bit condescending" with "creepily small features." But like wouldn't you be a bit condescending too if you had the most awesome parents in the world?
Feeling a bit rejected by my attempt to procreate attractively with Paul Rudd, I lowered my standards and popped one out for Teen Wolf:
Wolf Baby was voted "a smooth and pretty baby" but "the right eye is a little... suspicious." I mean come on guys, you can't expect perfection with an inter-species baby! No matter how smooth it comes out.
It was time to make one final try of it.
There was no one left to turn to except the villain of my new favorite movie (seriously guys, I saw The Dark Knight last night and it's even better than the hype, especially when you're sitting in IMAX vibrating chairs... and you wonder how I got pregnant?!): The Joker.
With little left to hope for, I pushed "Proceed" with all my might...
And the verdict.....?!
"um... that child is adorable... which is scary"
Who knew my dream genetic match would be a psychotic fictional character!? And here I've been wasting my time trying to find real (non-crazy) guys to date when all this time I should have been looking for fantasy homicidal maniacs!
Enough with the community-servicey posts of Nic Cage punching chicks and photos of my patriotic toes! What's the point of a vanity blog if I'm not spending most of my posts talking about how great I am?!
I've wasted so much precious time bringing you the wonders of the internet when I should have been posting myspaced out self portraits and bragging about my achievements!
Just check out our totally rad 3/4ths page feature: Also, remember that scavenger hunt I posted about a week or so ago? Well it went shockingly well (thanks for asking). Over 400 people showed up and all had a great time. I managed to have a great time too because I didn't end up going to jail for not have a permit for those 400+ people to be congregating on the Common. Woo hoo. Though really, the Henry David Thoreau in me wouldn't have minded a little jail time, because damn the man and ponds and transcendentalism are cool and all that jazz!
The basic premise of the scavenger hunt was that as people congregated, we made them into teams of ten so they could get to know their fellow Bostonians. At the designated time, one member from each team collected the team's passport and a map of the city. Each passport had 14 clues to different locations throughout the city. Once the team solved the riddle, they had to go to the location and find the Bandito. Once found, the Bandito had the team perform a task in order to receive a stamp for their passport. The team with the most passport stamps wins. (Congrats team Death Muffin!!)
Brilliant? Brilliant!
Here's a little video to give you a taste of what it was like:
When the teams got to the gates of Chinatown, we had them do some Olympic-style ribbon dancing. There are about 18 videos of said dancing on the Banditos channel of YouTube but here are a few of my favorites (for you lazies out there).
The swing ribbon dancing team:
The kids:
And then there's these people:
I still can't get over how amazing it is that with just a little organization (OK, A LOT of organization) and an internet connection you can bring complete strangers together to ribbon dance through Chinatown. Man, life is good.
When there is nooooobody in the office, this is how you end up spending your work-day.
Discovering the joys of The Wicker Man. Or, more accurately, Wicker Man tribute videos on YouTube.
First of all, how the hell have I not discovered the greatness of this movie before? I blame Josh Hartnett and Wicker Park for totally confusing me. That and all those white kids in 7th grade who were pretending to be black. OK, those are wiggers, but I blame them anyway!
Not only do I give you video of Nic Cage in a bear suit punching out a chick, but I also give you Nic Cage in various forms of dress punching out several chicks, stealing a bike, and "The bees! The bees! My eyes!":
And now again, set to the 90s classic "Scatman":
And to save the best for last: Nic Cage + "OH NOEZ THE BEES!" + Dance Remix = Bailey rides the rocketship to hyperbole planet to collect the right adjectives to describe this video's greatness. Until she gets back, you'll just have to watch it and be in awe:
I love holidays. Any and all holidays, but especially the ones that give you a day off from work. Especially especially the ones that give you a day off from work in the middle of the summer when everyone's working at about half steam anyway and you can take long lunch breaks and get pedicures where you get talked into actually let the pedicurist paint miniature American flags on your toes. (For the record, I did decline at least once.)
That's right: My toes are totally America The Beautiful right now.
Yup, that's me with my feet up on my desk. Not only can you see how much my feet love America in this pic, but you can also see my 2 lava lamps (mini and large), and over my left 2nd toe (the freakish longness means I'm royalty, yall!) you can see my prom photo from the 1986 Enchantment Under the Sea dance I went to a couple Halloweens back.
And I wondered how my coworkers got the impression that I'm the fun one...
Hope everyone has a good 4th of July! I'm off for the next few days to take the traditional Massachusetts holiday: on a boat in a New Hampshire lake.
Bailey Triggs is the premiere Awfsome-ologist of her generation. She spends her free time culling the internets for the most frightening, discomforting, and hilarious things she can find. Her (unhealthy) obsessions include fanfiction, emo kids, and reality tv dating shows.
DivMo: Bloggy style since 2007.
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Meet Prince Sparkly FishHorse:
Hi, my name is FiHo! I'm so happy DivMo adopted me and rescued me from that Angelfire site! I love to blink and wiggle my tail! And watch trashy reality TV!
I love comments, fan mail, and handmade declarations of undying devotion to diverted motion. (Also enjoy rhyming and horrific puns. You have been forewarned.)
You can find the rest of the illustrations on Zach's site. They were part of the Whitney Museum's 2004 Biennial and are now part of the Walker Art Center's collection in Minneapolis.
