Greetings From Florida! Where One Diner's Bomb Threat is Another Diner's Work of Art

Hello from Florida!

Fay the Rainmaker is putting the smack down on the Sunshine State, but we managed to brave the misting rain and flooded retention ponds long enough to enjoy breakfast at our favorite local diner The Townhouse.

The Townhouse is a great local joint: simple, cheap, delicious diner food with wild chickens running free in the parking lot and children's art work hanging from the walls.

Cute, right?

But let's take a closer look at one of the drawings prominently displayed above the bar, keeping in mind the tiny script above the door reads "The Townhouse":

Did a disgruntled child leave this in lieu of a tip? Should the police be notified?

Either way, it's genius.

This Weekend I Helped Wage Revolutionary Water War [What Have You Done For Your Country Lately?]

Banditos Misteriosos have done it again!

The Boston Globe called it an epic battle.

Check it out!

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned From PSAs and Batman

Things I love:

Public Service Announcements
Awkward Sexual Tension
My Bicycle
Awkward Man-on-Man Sexual Tension
Lifting Things
The Dark Knight, specifically the husky Batman voice
Shirtless white dudes
Best Summers Ever!

Because the internet loves me, it's given me all of my favorite things in these glorious Dark Knight PSA spots:

Bike Safety!


Heavy Lifting!


UV Protection!


Best summer ever, indeed!!

Playgirl Might Be Shutting Down Its Print Operation, But A Peen Pic Is Forever

It's been almost a week since I first heard the news Playgirl Magazine was to no longer be a magazine. Given my recent adventures with Scott Bakula, it makes me a little sad that the inevitable became so... evitable.

But then the gals over at Best Week Ever took the peenocalypse and made lemonade to the sweet sweet tunes of Boyz II Men. (What? Did I just gross you out or something?)

R.I.P. little closeted gay mag that could(n't)!

{Video NSFW if your boss doesn't dig the butt cleavage.}

Creepy Baby Video Will Make You Cry... uh... Like A Baby

Check out what's bouncing around the internets today yesterday (okay okay I've been a lazy blogger):

It's totally fucking creepy baby dolls! Called "Reborn Dolls" most likely because they most closely resemble back-from-the-dead zombies, these miniature wonders take hours and hours to make, cost hundreds of dollars, and will give you nightmares for months.

The song choice of the video alone is worth its weight in gold, if gold was the most terrifying substance on earth that made you feel really really uncomfortable every time it was around. And just when you think it's finally over, it pauses, restarts, and plays again.



Normal responses to watching this include: "10:52 of your life that you can't get back" and "these false children are making me furious like saw them in half furious. hi baby you want to get KARATE CHOPPED."

And then there is my response: Taking screen shots of all the most horrifically deformed "beautiful babies" and turning it into a zombie baby collage, complete with my own MS Paint annotation.

Click on the picture to see it in its full glory. Perfectly suitable* for printing and hanging up in your office!!!



*If you want your coworkers to think you're the next bus hacker.