All Aboard the Blingee Bandwagon

Because nothing quite says 'I love you friend' like an animated gif bullet to the head. :)

Sparkle courtesy of Blingee.com, bad idea enabled by the good folks over at Best Week Ever.


Glitter Graphics

I will now open the floor up to requests.

Sex Sells...Wall Files? [Hinged For Your Pleasure]

There are a lot of words I could use to describe the administrative aspects of my job, but "sexy" wouldn't be very high on the list. (But not off completely, because if I'm doing it, it's gotta be at least a little bit sexy. Or so the little ego I keep in my pocket whispers to me.) My day-to-day office life looks little like the movie Secretary. Though one day I dream to be "the big boss" at "the company" and then I'll totally have an office boy running around in manacles, delivering me coffee.

So imagine my surprise as I did a routine search through our online office supply catalog for those plastic files you can hang off your cube wall, and this is what turned up in my search results:
That's right, apparently Rubbermaid makes not only "Classic HOT File Basic Wall Pockets," but "Classic SUPER HOT File Add-on Pockets," and also "Hinged ULTRA HOT File Bins"!!

I know it's a recession and all but is sex really going to help sell these plastic files?!
Who am I kidding? I totally ordered two of the the "Classic Hot."

"I Love You, Man": Further Proves My Bromance is HUGE in 2009 Theory

Just check out the trailer for the new Jason Segel/Paul Rudd bundle of celluloid awesomeness:



Like I said, Bromance for the win in 2009.

Baby When We're Grinding, I Get So Excited... Feel A Little Poke Coming Through On Yoooou: Homoeroticism FTW in 2009

This afternoon I stumbled upon this brilliant clip from the TruTV series The Principal's Office where seniors Logan and Brandon were brought into the principal's office to defend the "out of control" dancing that caused the school dance to GRIND (omg! pun!) to a halt.

Things get truly hilarious when the boys start acting out "is this too close?" scenarios as the principal squirms in his chair:



My first thoughts immediately go to the best song about smuggling a boner onto the dance floor ever: "Too Close" by Next.

For those unfamiliar, here are some Sims characters dancing to the Blue cover of the song:



For the record, I'd be ALL ABOUT grinding if I could pass through my partner's body like a ghost and have ribbons of light floating from my arms when I waved them around like a peppy cheerleader.

But do you know what gets me more excited than the prospect of phantasmagoric grinding? That this Principal's Office clip just furthers my hypothesis that Homoeroticism is going to be HUGE in 2009. HUGE, I TELL YOU!

Videogum's Gabe wrote an awesome post on the implications of homoerotic love in Brody Jenner's new be my best friend reality audition show Bromance (and as I was looking for the link to that post, found they also posted on this Principal's Office clip too--Great to see we're on the same page of the internet, guys!)

And you know what? I am ALL ABOUT this rise in homoeroticism. I know it's easy to make an argument that acting gay as a joke is just mocking gay people--and yes, to a degree, it does (at least at this moment in our culture). But I think it works on more than just that level. The "just kidding" aspect of it gives guys a safe space to express their feelings for each other in a way that is currently socially unacceptable. And eventually, as the "joke" gets enacted over and over again, it stops being novel and funny and then people forget they're kidding and it's just two dudes who love each other and that's TOTALLY OK.

The more 2009 becomes the Year of Homoeroticism, the more opportunities men will have for man-on-man platonic love--which is more than fair since female friendships have DOMINATED the social radar for years now. (Hello, Sex and the City franchise!) It's about time male friendship took a positive bump in the numbers!

Even my gchat partner in crime Jeremy agrees:

me: homoeroticism ftw
i'm predicting now that homoeroticism is going to be HUGE in 2009
jeremy: oh yea
it's gonna be a breakout year
me: seriously bromance is huge
jeremy: everywhere you look it's gonna be like bam:

bam:
BAM!
jeremy: lol sorry
me: HAHA
jeremy: buut not sorry

Who could be sorry about a beautiful thing like that?!

I rest my case: Homoeroticism FTW in 2009!

BAD BABY! of the Week: Rod Blagojevich

If the internet is the new Wild Wild West, then call me the new Sheriff of Naughtyham. So often celebrities and public officials get away with egregious crimes with nary a slap on the wrist. No longer!

DivMo's now in the business of doling out Tough Love ^TM. And what's tougher or more loving than an Anne Geddes baby? Nothing!

Just look at that cute little face! That baby might be smiling on the outside but just look deeply into its eyes. That baby's soul is sailing an ocean of pain and fear. But there's hope there too, giant floppy-eared hope.

Perhaps if some of our more wayward celebrities and public officials were able to face their pain and fear as honestly as these little dressed up babies, they would be able to overcome their dark ways and become more productive members of society.

It is with this hope that I introduce DivMo's new BAD BABY! feature. Our first candidate for the redemptive power of this cutting edge procedure is newly impeached Gov. Rod Blagojevich.


Let's pray his time spent pressed firmly to Celine Dion's bosom redeems his corrupt, corrupt soul!

How to Maximize the Fridge Life of Your Holiday Photo with the Help of Perez Hilton

The holidays are over and people are taking down the decorations, using the menorah to burn the dead tree in the backyard (see Fig. 1), and are throwing away all those crap Christmas cards cluttering up the precious takeout menu space on the refrigerator.

Figure 1: Proper Christmas Tree Disposal

I know, I know, you spent HOURS on your card: From meticulously selecting the most PC-Happy Winter Solstice greeting on the rack, to the hours agonizing over the flat hair to red eye ratio of the family photo. And all that work just to get thrown in the trash!

If only there were a way to make a holiday card photo that was so memorable your friends and family would treasure it for years to come!

Never fear friends! There is a way! There is a jolly fat man who is immensely popular with children and adults alike, who can help you solve all your problems. No, not Santa Claus, Sillies! I'm talking about Perez Hilton.

If you really want next year's holiday card to get the notice and adoration it deserves, all you need to do is break out the white MS Paint and get to scrawling obscenities!

That darling but forgettable photograph of Gran and Gramps? With a spliff and a floating cock, turn a tragic glimpse into human decay into a total gigglefest!

What about that romantic shot of Cousin Ellie's winter wedding? You can be the first to say 'I told you so' in the new year!

Sister Gina's graduating in this tanking economy? Good thing we didn't have high hopes for her to being with!

Just another shot of your cute kids playing on the beach? Make a statement about body image in this world's media obsessed culture and that photo will stay up on fridges all year long!


Uncle Jerry may not have asked to be public outed in the family Christmas card when he posed with Skittles, but his mustache certainly did!


Just look at grandbaby Emma's eyes. Like they didn't see this one coming!

Remember folks, these aren't pictures to be seen then promptly thrown away, you're making memories that will last a lifetime!*

Don't forget to include me on your 2009 Christmas list!

*in family therapy costs

The Hottest Jam of 2009: When Autotune Meets Emotional Gangstas

I know we're only 3 days into 2009, but I'm telling you "Superman" from Emotions in a Gangsta is going to be the sleeper jam of the year.* I promise you've never heard such a perfect blend of wonky autotune, emotional ganstaism, and mildly retarded lispiness in a track before.

I could stare at the picture for hours.



*at least on DivMo.

If "Superman" becomes the hot ballad track of the year, then El Chomobo's "Macarron Chacarron" will be the hot dance track. (Blame Jeremy for finding me the link to this one). Stroke victim-esq rapping has never sounded so hot!