The Internet is Not a Safe Place for Children...

...Nor for people who want to be protected from children making creepy YouTube music videos of popular hit songs...

To wit, little 9 year-old Lauren T's take on Lady Gaga's 'Pokerface':



OK, confession time. I started out terrified of 9 year-old Lauren T, but the more YouTube videos I watch of her, the more obsessed I get. It's like that YouTube zit popping fetish video genre...

In this one 9 year-old Lauren T sings in front of doggy pictures!



And the "advice" comments she gets are priceless (emphasis mine):

you have the same [i don't wanna say problem, but...] problem as a lot of aspiring singers that i know. they put too much of their talent in the song and strain their voice. i'm sure if you got lessons you'd be really great. your voice is a little shaky and pitchy, so be sure to work on that as well. also, some of the notes are off. you'd be real good if your voice was...polished...xD
-ScribblexCookie :]

slow down and relax! and while you're at it, smoothen your voice. And you were wrong at some lyrics. But if you take my advice you MIGHT just be top 20 of American Idol. You have a good voice just... get music lessons. :)
-EeeFae

OMG, then there's her "Debut Original Single Release: Why Can't You Come Back (To Me)." God, I love it when songs end (with parenthetical asides (for no real reason)). This one is just a still shot of little 9 year-old Lauren T but the melisma is beautiful enough to peel dry paint off the wall (read: her notes are wobblier than a kid on the first day without the training wheels).

This comment really sold this song to me:

im sorry i hate it!!!!!!especiallt 3:54 to the end.you kept like screaming!
-darlenehernandez123

I don't care what the commenters say, little 9 year-old Lauren T, scream your lungs out all you want! The internet has plenty of room for you and all your dangerously misguided, one day mortifying music videos.

Using The Online Blogopolis To Share My Thoughts With Up To 10 People!

DivMo turned two on April 23rd, which in internet time is pre-death Bea Arthur old (rip foxy lady/favorite Airheads reference)!

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* not actually patented
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