This Weekend I Helped Wage Revolutionary Water War [What Have You Done For Your Country Lately?]

Banditos Misteriosos have done it again!

The Boston Globe called it an epic battle.

Check it out!

Playgirl Might Be Shutting Down Its Print Operation, But A Peen Pic Is Forever

It's been almost a week since I first heard the news Playgirl Magazine was to no longer be a magazine. Given my recent adventures with Scott Bakula, it makes me a little sad that the inevitable became so... evitable.

But then the gals over at Best Week Ever took the peenocalypse and made lemonade to the sweet sweet tunes of Boyz II Men. (What? Did I just gross you out or something?)

R.I.P. little closeted gay mag that could(n't)!

{Video NSFW if your boss doesn't dig the butt cleavage.}

DivMo's Obligatory Post on How Great The Dark Knight Was [Keeping Up with the Blogosphere]

That's right. I, like everyone else in the world, have seen The Dark Knight. And I, like everyone else in the world, thought it was OMG Best Movie Evaaahzz!! It's only been out for a weekend but is already like #4 on the super-official IMDB Bestie Movie Evaaahzz List guys! For serious: Go see it!

But why take my word for it when famous YouTube reviewer Sexman--who is neither a man, nor has probably ever had sex--can say everything I felt about movie while adding 10xs more "uh"s and "um"s and 500xs more voice cracks than I could ever pull off:



Not only do you get the great action and acting in this movie, but you get a second chance to giggle at Christian Bale's completely ridiculous breathy Bat-manly voice.



The real tragedy is that there are too few Bale Batman-voice parodies on YouTube for me to giggle over. Internet gods: Get on it!

Most Disturbingly Amazing Way to Spend Your Friday Afternoon [Let's Make Babies!]

There are no words to describe how excited I am about MakeMeBabies.com.

There are hours and hours and hours and hours of distressing amusement at your fingertips people!

Have you ever wondered what your baby would look like if you mated with yourself? What about the mating of an Emo Carebear and a Cross-Dressing Circus Man?

Make Me Babies can show you EXACTLY what that improbable union would look like!

Take Mommy Bear:

And add Circus Daddy:

And you get....

Could that be?! Is it actually...

Lesbian Lindsey Lohan lover Samantha Ronson?!?!!!

Seriously! The hair, those eyes, that nose! If I ever manage to impregnate myself with myself, I'll be able to create a lesbian gossip-mag juggernaut!

Needing relief from that terrifying discovery, I decided to have a baby with Paul Rudd:

Um, since when did babies come out with full heads of braided hair and looking at least 4 years old?! Friends voted Baby Awesomeous "smarmy and a bit condescending" with "creepily small features." But like wouldn't you be a bit condescending too if you had the most awesome parents in the world?

Feeling a bit rejected by my attempt to procreate attractively with Paul Rudd, I lowered my standards and popped one out for Teen Wolf:

Wolf Baby was voted "a smooth and pretty baby" but "the right eye is a little... suspicious." I mean come on guys, you can't expect perfection with an inter-species baby! No matter how smooth it comes out.

It was time to make one final try of it.

There was no one left to turn to except the villain of my new favorite movie (seriously guys, I saw The Dark Knight last night and it's even better than the hype, especially when you're sitting in IMAX vibrating chairs... and you wonder how I got pregnant?!): The Joker.

With little left to hope for, I pushed "Proceed" with all my might...

And the verdict.....?!

"um... that child is adorable... which is scary"

Who knew my dream genetic match would be a psychotic fictional character!? And here I've been wasting my time trying to find real (non-crazy) guys to date when all this time I should have been looking for fantasy homicidal maniacs!

Thanks MakeMeBabies.com!

Guess Who Just Got Voted "The Best Kept Secret In Boston" [If I Post It On The Internet, It's Still A Secret, Right?!]

Enough with the community-servicey posts of Nic Cage punching chicks and photos of my patriotic toes! What's the point of a vanity blog if I'm not spending most of my posts talking about how great I am?!

I've wasted so much precious time bringing you the wonders of the internet when I should have been posting myspaced out self portraits and bragging about my achievements!

Well that all gets fixed right now because my urban playground group Banditos Misteriosos just got voted "Boston's Best Kept Secret" by The Improper Bostonian.

Just check out our totally rad 3/4ths page feature:

Also, remember that scavenger hunt I posted about a week or so ago? Well it went shockingly well (thanks for asking). Over 400 people showed up and all had a great time. I managed to have a great time too because I didn't end up going to jail for not have a permit for those 400+ people to be congregating on the Common. Woo hoo. Though really, the Henry David Thoreau in me wouldn't have minded a little jail time, because damn the man and ponds and transcendentalism are cool and all that jazz!

The basic premise of the scavenger hunt was that as people congregated, we made them into teams of ten so they could get to know their fellow Bostonians. At the designated time, one member from each team collected the team's passport and a map of the city. Each passport had 14 clues to different locations throughout the city. Once the team solved the riddle, they had to go to the location and find the Bandito. Once found, the Bandito had the team perform a task in order to receive a stamp for their passport. The team with the most passport stamps wins. (Congrats team Death Muffin!!)

Brilliant? Brilliant!

Here's a little video to give you a taste of what it was like:



When the teams got to the gates of Chinatown, we had them do some Olympic-style ribbon dancing. There are about 18 videos of said dancing on the Banditos channel of YouTube but here are a few of my favorites (for you lazies out there).

The swing ribbon dancing team:



The kids:



And then there's these people:



I still can't get over how amazing it is that with just a little organization (OK, A LOT of organization) and an internet connection you can bring complete strangers together to ribbon dance through Chinatown. Man, life is good.

Tomorrow! Scavenger! Hunt! Boston! Awesome! [File This Under DO IT!!]

If you're in Boston tomorrow (Saturday, June 28th), you have no choice but to form a team (or come solo and we'll hook you up) and participate in the 1st Annual Boston Scavenger Hunt (Banditos-style!).

It starts at 12:30 on Boston Common and we already have well over 400 people registered so it should be an insanely good time.

And as with all Banditos events, it is 100% completely free. (Though we have a hot new Donation button on our site that we'd love for you to press... wink!)

Check out www.misteriosos.org to register and find out more info.

See you there!!!

And the Award for Best Use of a Spike's Junkyard Dog in a Music Video Goes to... [Tough Gays!]

Another gem from my Boston-tagged YouTube video trolling...

There is nothing I love more than crazy genre-bending music. In fact, just last night I decided starting a death metal glee club would probably be one of the best ideas I've ever had.

So it's no surprise I find this "queerxcore" video by Youth of Togay for their track "Tough Gays" to be the most hilarious and scary thing I've seen in awhile (scarelarious?).

(Mildly NSFW due to mature screaming and adult situations with some junkyard dogs from Spike's.)



Never fear, I'll get back to my Bonnaroo projection-ing tomorrow!

Oh Yeah, That's Right: I'm Posting a Video of Pandas Riding Down a Slide [Cute Overload Better Watch Its Back]

Because its faux-Friday (at least for me as I'm taking tomorrow off--NYC here I come!)...

And because I'm sniffly (and still trying to pretend it's "allergies") and this makes me happy.



If this does not make you happy, you have no soul.*

*Interesting factoid: when you Google Image Search "no soul" this is what you get. <--NSFW if you work in a Borat-unfriendly environment.

And The Award For Most Appropriate Use of the Internet Goes To...[The Envelope Please]

I have been to many many webpages: Stuff on My Cat, Fat Chicks in Party Hats, Stuff on Christopher Walken, White Chicks and Gang Signs...

All are examples of appropriate uses of the internet, but they pale in comparison to my newest find:

Manbabies.com

If there was ever a more perfect use of Photoshop, I haven't seen it.

Bravo, Manbabies.com, bravo!

My New Life Goal [Pencil Pushers of the Gods]

I was always a little too socially well-adjusted to truly fit in with the Speech & Debate Team in high school. But I've always admired the outcast (hence, the emo obsession). And in the case of the professional Speech & Debater (ahem, "master debater" as the joke went), they always had the sweetest pen twirling skills.

I try as I might, my pen always ends up across the room... in a cup of coffee... protruding out of my opponent's eye (an unfortunately fortunate way to win a debate)...

But after watching this video, my dream is renewed!



Now all I need is a yogi-type personal trainer to get my digits into top twirling shape! [Interested parties leave your official application in the comments.]

Hot New Blog to Watch: Rageoline and Company [Your Daily Diversion]

Every five seconds a new blog is born. It's a fact. (Just count to twenty and then go look it up on Wikipedia; I'm still editing the entry about it now.)

But how do you decide what to read? How will you know what's worth your while!?!?!

First off, I'd say calm down drama queen. You're cut off from any more coffee this morning.

And second off, I'd say I'll tell you what to read! You are on my blog and therefore, I get to tell you what to do. And I'm telling you to read Rageoline & Company. It's a new blog written by some very angry and very funny Boston-based folk.* And it's soon to be all the rage! (Zing!!!)

I mean just look at this picture of rage. Hilarious, no?

Hilarious, yes!

So what did Rageoline decide to focus her snark-beams on for her first target of derision?

Flan! 'Natch.

Flan is so dumb, it doesn't even have a page on Wikipedia. Take that, flan. I don't really even understand what it is, and I've eaten it. It's a strange color and the texture is disgusting. If you've ever eaten flan, you will know that it also has an oozing liquid, which leaks out of the side of it. This reminds me of fruit on the bottom yogurt, where you have that extra yogurt juice, which isn't quite yogurt, and doesn't really resemble any of the fruit from the bottom. I know you know which juice I'm referring to...

How can you argue with mystery juices? You just can't!

So speaketh me: "Read it. Love it. Rage on party dudes!"


*Myself potentially included on that list. Identities changed to protect the snarky.

The Internet: Bringing Nerds and Nudity Together Since The 1980s [Quite Possibly The Most Important Purchase Of My Life]

Thanks to the gloriousness of our fair internet, I am now (or will at least soon to be once it arrives in the mail) the proud owner of the March 1995 issue of Playgirl featuring the one... the only... Scott Bakula!!!!


Having never actually seen an issue of Playgirl, this will finally end the debate over whether Playgirl shows ween. I've got 5-7 business days to brace myself for the answer.

And for those uninitiated into the wonders of Quantum Leap, here's a little taste of the magic (set to the tune of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"):

Sing It With Me: "Not Only Is There A Man In His Cabinet, But The Man Is A Midget, Midget, Midget, Midget!!!" [Soon To Be The Best Night Of My Life]

There are only so many OMG!! YAAAAAY!!!!@@#s in the world, so I'm going to stick with the facts on this one and let the magic speak for itself:

Coolidge Corner Theater. Friday, April 4th at 11:55 p.m. Trapped in the Closet. The Sing Along. That's right. THE SING ALONG.

If you have not experienced the magic that is Trapped in the Closet, for shame! How can you deny the glory that is the cop's discovery that his wife Bridget is sleeping with that midget (midget, midget...):

To further prove the cultural significance of this moment in time...

This, my friends, is the first image that appears when you do an R. Kelly Google Image search:

Why this exists, I have no idea. What this says to me--aside from the obvious: 'Hey kids, look! No genitalia!'--is that you need to buy your tickets now before the sell out!!!

(And drop me a line if you're coming so we can meet up and sing loud and proud together.)

OMG! Google Admits To Using Flux Capacitor To Manipulate Time [What Happened To 'Do No Evil'?]

So I was sifting through my Gmail this morning when I came upon an exciting new (red fonted!) link to a new feature: "New! Gmail Custom Time"



Being the total tech nerd I am, I was all like "Ooooh new features! Gimme Gimme!"

I mean, how awesome does this sound:

Just click "Set custom time" from the Compose view. Any email you send to the past appears in the proper chronological order in your recipient's inbox. You can opt for it to show up read or unread by selecting the appropriate option.

Like so awesome! But with all great options there are limits:

You'll only be able to send email back until April 1, 2004, the day we launched Gmail. If we were to let you send an email from Gmail before Gmail existed, well, that would be like hanging out with your parents before you were born -- crazy talk.

Though to prevent people from truly going the way of the devil and lying about all of their email send times, Google's only limiting this option to 10 times per year.

Our researchers have concluded that allowing each person more than ten pre-dated emails per year would cause people to lose faith in the accuracy of time, thus rendering the feature useless.

The only downer? It doesn't seem to be working yet in my mailbox!! Laaaame. If you're having similar problems, you should join me in emailing them to let them know you want the feature to work!

Fact: It's A Lot Easier To Start A Pillow Fight Than To End A Pillow Fight [World Pillow Fight Day Recap: Boston]

As you know if you read my previous post, yesterday was World Pillow Fight Day and my urban playground group Banditos Misteriosos hosted it. With a little help from the Facebook social juggernaut and some great press from the front page of the Boston Globe's Living & Arts section (which you should totally read since I'm quoted in it and am officially famous now)...

...around 400 people attended the event. Which is awesomer than awesome. There are so many amazing pictures and videos of the event, it's hard to synthesize them all. Though I must say, I'm partial to the pictures I'm in... not for my sake but for my giant fish Winston's. (Man, does he love the spotlight!)

For example, here I am with Winston rushing into battle!

But really, when it comes to capturing the greatness of a massive flash mob pillow fight, nothing is quite as great as video. And, thanks to the glories of YouTube, there is a plethora of great videos to be watched.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Best video of the start of the fight and best use of the Mortal Kombat theme (EVER!):



Best Bill 'n' Ted-style commentary during the action (with most Banditos-per-square-inch cameos from Nick, Ondi, Ramy, and Jeremy moseying into battle)



Best footage of me hitting Caroline with a giant stuffed fish scored to the 90s rock of Everclear:



Best video of the fight from a small child's perspective:



Best Banditos-created video of the fight (courtesy of film guru Nick Carlisle)




Best Channel 7 News Coverage:



Best post-pillow-fight post-clean up hokey pokey:



Best time ever.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Get to Fluffing (Your Pillows, You Pervs)! [World Pillowfight Day]

Tomorrow, Saturday March 22 is World Pillow Fight Day and Boston's own Banditos Misteriosos are leading our fair city into soft, fluffy battle at 2 p.m. in Copley Square.

Bostonites should arrive at least 5 minutes early and be prepared to go at the sound of the airhorn. Be as inconspicuous as possible to add a little "flash" to the flash mob phenomenon.

Also: as with pretty much all Banditos events, pjs and other ridiculous attire/costumes are HIGHLY encouraged. Rumor has it some of the folks from the big anime convention in Boston this weekend will be making an appearance en-mass. Could be ahhhhmazing.....!

And for those of you who know and love my stuffed aquatic soul-mate Winston, you'll be thrilled to hear he'll be making an appearance.

Button, Button, Who's Got The Button? [This Kid!]

I've told you before about the proven awesomeness of Google Reader and other RSS feed readers, but now I have the sausage to go with that sizzle. Just check out those hot pink waves of glory emanating from little FiHo's head. ----->

Thanks to the gracious genius of Mr. Kevin Michael Keating, I now have a hot little button of my own! So, subscribe to me! I promise we'll soon be returning to our regularly scheduled daily blogging program when I stop being in rehearsals and performances every night of the week.

But until then... I'm proud to announce my Improv Boston graduate sketch show, "Help You, Help Me" is sold out tonight!!! And last Wednesday's show kicked major ass, if I do say so myself! (Which I just did because ah, I am myself. Is it physically possible to 'say so' for someone else? Maybe if you're Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost....er... Get well, Patrick Swayze!)

If you're in Boston and free on Wednesday, March 19th at 7:30 p.m. you should go buy tickets to my sketch show now. As of this posting, there were only 13 seats left!

Improv Boston Sketch Writing Grad Show Dates and Ticketing Information! [From The Department of Blatant Self-Promotion]

Attention All Bostonites!

My sketch writing class with Improv Boston is hosting 3 performances of "Help Me, Help You": a collection of 10 sketches written by the 6 of us in the class and it will feature two of my sketches: Love: Office Style and Attack of the Hipster Dinosaur Douches!!!

Not only are you going to get to see some my work, but I'm even in one of these sketches! There will be cake! (And on the 19th when I'm subbing in for a part, cleavage!) You can't go wrong!

DATES!

This Wednesday, March 12 at 7:30
Friday, March 14th at 7:30
Wednesday, March 19th at 7:30

TICKET INFO:

Tickets for the Wednesday shows can be bought on the Improv Boston site (and are $7)

The Friday, March 14 show is labeled under "Sketchaus" as our show is appearing in the Sketchaus slot; make sure you select March 14.

It's not a very big space, so if you'd like to come you should get tickets sooner than later before they sell out!

If A Silent Dance Experiment Happens, But Does Not Appear On The Internet, Does It Really Make A Sound? [Video To Make You Wish You Were Here]

On Saturday around 200-300ish people showed up in front of Faneuil Hall and hit play on their ipods at the same time.

The result was nothing short of awesome.

I mean, just take a look at the people who organized this thing. If this picture doesn't scream greatness, well then greatness has a really bad case of laryngitis and should go to a doctor to get that checked out.

[Photo courtesy of banditosmisteriosos
The hottest glasses-beret combo in town, courtesy of moi]

And now, for your viewing pleasure, check out what this place looked like to the common passerby who encountered our madness:

And here is the awesome awesome video that Banditos' film guru Nick Carlisle created and syched up to the Dance Experiment mp3:

More photos from the event can be found in the Flickr pools of: estratton, sergioni, yayrabies, and ittoku.lee

ATTENTION ALL BOSTONITES: It's Time To Dance With The Banditos Misteriosos! [Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!]

You are cordially invited to Boston's First Silent Dance Experiment, hosted by Boston's newest playmate: The Banditos Misteriosos.

Participation is easy and open to everyone! Just follow these handy directions:

1. Go to www.misteriosos.org and download the track (labeled: "Without further ado click here for the mp3", right mouse click and 'Save As') the put it on your mp3 player/burn it to CD/make a cassette tape for your Walkman.

2. Make sure your watch is synced to the correct time.

3. Get yourself to Boston on Saturday, February 23rd, wearing your most awesome sunglasses.

4. Get to Faneuil Hall by 12:50 p.m.:

View Larger Map

5. When your synced watch hits 1 p.m., press play!

6. Follow the song directions and make a scene!

It should be an amazingly fun spectacle and you might even make a few new friends in the process.

For further reading, you can head over to Bostonist.com and check out my interview with the Banditos co-founder Ethan Feuer: Banditos Misteriosos: Boston's Newest Playmates Want to (Silent) Dance With You

Also, if you're going to be in the area, hit me up in the comments and we'll meet up for drinks after the dance.