Playgirl Might Be Shutting Down Its Print Operation, But A Peen Pic Is Forever

It's been almost a week since I first heard the news Playgirl Magazine was to no longer be a magazine. Given my recent adventures with Scott Bakula, it makes me a little sad that the inevitable became so... evitable.

But then the gals over at Best Week Ever took the peenocalypse and made lemonade to the sweet sweet tunes of Boyz II Men. (What? Did I just gross you out or something?)

R.I.P. little closeted gay mag that could(n't)!

{Video NSFW if your boss doesn't dig the butt cleavage.}

There's Never Any Time! [I'm So Excited, I'm So Excited, I'm So...]

Yeah, yeah yeah. I know I promised more Bonnaroo projections. But between getting all my ducks in a row for this trip (like the all important purchase of the water-spritzing fan) and getting ready for the big work conference happening the day I get back from the 'Roo (my boss's only stipulation is that I must shower before schmoozing with the board bigwigs... fair enough), I find myself feeling a little Jessie Spano-ish.

I think most of you know what I'm talking about. The most famous cameo of NoDoze ever:



Thankfully, I'm still riding the "I'm so excited!" train with no scared in sight.

And as for the 'Roo, you're just going to have to wait patiently to see how I'm going to pack in Chromeo, Kanye, Sigur Ros, The Coup, Lupe Fiasco, Talib Kweli, and Ghostland Observatory between 12:15 a.m. and 4:15 a.m. on Saturday night.

Oh cruel scheduling gods, must you put so many bands I'm pumped to see all within the same (ridiculously late) block of time?

Wish me luck!

Your Childhood Repressed Memories Unpressed...Depressed? ...Pressed? [Terrifying Any Way You Put It]

You were a small child. The TV was on. You were too little to pick the channel. You didn't know any better. It's OK. It's not your fault.

It was called Zoobilee Zoo. You thought you'd gotten past it. Completely erased the memory of those half-human, half animal creatures frolicking around in that magical land. Traumatizing your sensitive-child sensibilities. You thought you had completely repressed it.

But one day, the fateful YouTube link from a friend followed by "Remember this one?"

Brace yourself because you do remember. You've seen this before. Though you wish you never had.

The Internet: Bringing Nerds and Nudity Together Since The 1980s [Quite Possibly The Most Important Purchase Of My Life]

Thanks to the gloriousness of our fair internet, I am now (or will at least soon to be once it arrives in the mail) the proud owner of the March 1995 issue of Playgirl featuring the one... the only... Scott Bakula!!!!


Having never actually seen an issue of Playgirl, this will finally end the debate over whether Playgirl shows ween. I've got 5-7 business days to brace myself for the answer.

And for those uninitiated into the wonders of Quantum Leap, here's a little taste of the magic (set to the tune of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"):

Anyone Wanna Go Automobubbling With Me? [Just Follow The Bouncing Ball]

So I was doing a little YouTube research today to supplement a post I was planning to write on sing alongs* when I found this fantastic Oldsmobile follow-the-bouncing-ball sing along advertisement from 1931.

In honor of my Oldsmobile, Heyzeus, who is in the shop today because his "Check Engine Soon" light has mysteriously come on (get better soon baby!--and please do it cheaply!) I've decided to dedicate the entire post to the wonders of this nearly 7-minute commercial "In My Merry Oldsmobile."

And for those of you who think advertising has only become sexual and depraved in the most recent decades, I'd like to mention that this commercial features Peeping Toms, stripping, anthropomorphic sexual harassment, female butt enhancement, breaking and entering, sexual assault with a pair of dentures... oh, and the mysteriously naughty term: "Automobubbling"**

Just check out the lyrics to the song [wtf emphasis all mine]:

Young Johnnie Steele has an Oldsmobile
He loves a dear little girl
She is the queen of his gas machine
She has his heart in a whirl
Now when they go for a spin, you know
She tries to learn the auto, so
He lets her steer while he gets her ear,
And whispers soft and low:
Come away with me Lucile,
In my merry Oldsmobile,
Down the road of life we’ll fly,
Automobubbling, you and I.
To the church we’ll swiftly steal,
Then our wedding bells will peal,
You can go as far as you like
With me in my merry Oldsmobile. [That's how you reach 5th base my friends.]



Who knew "I have an Oldsmobile" was the ultimate pick-up line? I'll have to try it out and report back on the "outcome" of my "research." *WINK*

*Teaser alert! You'll have to tune in tomorrow to see what sing along has got me so excited!!!

**One of my favorite driving memories ever was when a group of friends and I caught a couple "Automobubbling" down 84. We chased them down so we could give them the thumbs up as we passed them. Yeah, we're a supportive bunch.

[Acid] Trip Down Memory Lane: 80s & 90s Childhood TV, Rembering The Shows That Raised You While Your Parents Were Out Drinking

Because TV right now is lame and writer-less, I now present you with DivMo's Retro TV hour!

Remember any of these??

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!!!!!



Denver the Last Dinosaur



Noozles!



Maya The Bee



Hey Dude!



David the Gnome (my personal all-time favorite... I forgot how amazingly cheesy the theme song was. Brilliant!)



All That / Kenan & Kel / Pete & Pete / Clarissa Explains It All / The Secret World of Alex Mac / My Brother and Me / Are You Afraid of the Dark? / Salute Your Shorts / Legends of the Hidden Temple / You Can't Do That on Television / Animorphs



Soooo good. They really should institute a 80s & 90s kid show nostalgia network. I know I would watch religiously.