Font Jokes and Pynchon Illustrations [Uh Bailey, I Think Your Dork is Showing]

First, this pretty hilarious video about fonts courtesy of the College Humor gang. Despite my strong feelings about Comic Sans, this was pretty great:

And second, this artist named Zak Smith has made an illustration for every page of Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow.

For example, here's Page 1's illustration for "Beyond the Zero."

You can find the rest of the illustrations on Zach's site. They were part of the Whitney Museum's 2004 Biennial and are now part of the Walker Art Center's collection in Minneapolis.

For those unfamiliar, Gravity's Rainbow is the book you trot out at parties when playing the How Pretentious is My Dickishness Game. (I've read it twice since I'm totes pretentious and have a Biggish Dickish. I just write in LOL-internets speak to reach my wikipedia-mushed-minded readership out there! Hi Guys!)

Hat tips go out to the gang at Videogum and Mike for the links.

I promise I have something way less dorky and more low-brow in store for you tomorrow!

DivMo's Obligatory Post on How Great The Dark Knight Was [Keeping Up with the Blogosphere]

That's right. I, like everyone else in the world, have seen The Dark Knight. And I, like everyone else in the world, thought it was OMG Best Movie Evaaahzz!! It's only been out for a weekend but is already like #4 on the super-official IMDB Bestie Movie Evaaahzz List guys! For serious: Go see it!

But why take my word for it when famous YouTube reviewer Sexman--who is neither a man, nor has probably ever had sex--can say everything I felt about movie while adding 10xs more "uh"s and "um"s and 500xs more voice cracks than I could ever pull off:



Not only do you get the great action and acting in this movie, but you get a second chance to giggle at Christian Bale's completely ridiculous breathy Bat-manly voice.



The real tragedy is that there are too few Bale Batman-voice parodies on YouTube for me to giggle over. Internet gods: Get on it!

Most Disturbingly Amazing Way to Spend Your Friday Afternoon [Let's Make Babies!]

There are no words to describe how excited I am about MakeMeBabies.com.

There are hours and hours and hours and hours of distressing amusement at your fingertips people!

Have you ever wondered what your baby would look like if you mated with yourself? What about the mating of an Emo Carebear and a Cross-Dressing Circus Man?

Make Me Babies can show you EXACTLY what that improbable union would look like!

Take Mommy Bear:

And add Circus Daddy:

And you get....

Could that be?! Is it actually...

Lesbian Lindsey Lohan lover Samantha Ronson?!?!!!

Seriously! The hair, those eyes, that nose! If I ever manage to impregnate myself with myself, I'll be able to create a lesbian gossip-mag juggernaut!

Needing relief from that terrifying discovery, I decided to have a baby with Paul Rudd:

Um, since when did babies come out with full heads of braided hair and looking at least 4 years old?! Friends voted Baby Awesomeous "smarmy and a bit condescending" with "creepily small features." But like wouldn't you be a bit condescending too if you had the most awesome parents in the world?

Feeling a bit rejected by my attempt to procreate attractively with Paul Rudd, I lowered my standards and popped one out for Teen Wolf:

Wolf Baby was voted "a smooth and pretty baby" but "the right eye is a little... suspicious." I mean come on guys, you can't expect perfection with an inter-species baby! No matter how smooth it comes out.

It was time to make one final try of it.

There was no one left to turn to except the villain of my new favorite movie (seriously guys, I saw The Dark Knight last night and it's even better than the hype, especially when you're sitting in IMAX vibrating chairs... and you wonder how I got pregnant?!): The Joker.

With little left to hope for, I pushed "Proceed" with all my might...

And the verdict.....?!

"um... that child is adorable... which is scary"

Who knew my dream genetic match would be a psychotic fictional character!? And here I've been wasting my time trying to find real (non-crazy) guys to date when all this time I should have been looking for fantasy homicidal maniacs!

Thanks MakeMeBabies.com!

Guess Who Just Got Voted "The Best Kept Secret In Boston" [If I Post It On The Internet, It's Still A Secret, Right?!]

Enough with the community-servicey posts of Nic Cage punching chicks and photos of my patriotic toes! What's the point of a vanity blog if I'm not spending most of my posts talking about how great I am?!

I've wasted so much precious time bringing you the wonders of the internet when I should have been posting myspaced out self portraits and bragging about my achievements!

Well that all gets fixed right now because my urban playground group Banditos Misteriosos just got voted "Boston's Best Kept Secret" by The Improper Bostonian.

Just check out our totally rad 3/4ths page feature:

Also, remember that scavenger hunt I posted about a week or so ago? Well it went shockingly well (thanks for asking). Over 400 people showed up and all had a great time. I managed to have a great time too because I didn't end up going to jail for not have a permit for those 400+ people to be congregating on the Common. Woo hoo. Though really, the Henry David Thoreau in me wouldn't have minded a little jail time, because damn the man and ponds and transcendentalism are cool and all that jazz!

The basic premise of the scavenger hunt was that as people congregated, we made them into teams of ten so they could get to know their fellow Bostonians. At the designated time, one member from each team collected the team's passport and a map of the city. Each passport had 14 clues to different locations throughout the city. Once the team solved the riddle, they had to go to the location and find the Bandito. Once found, the Bandito had the team perform a task in order to receive a stamp for their passport. The team with the most passport stamps wins. (Congrats team Death Muffin!!)

Brilliant? Brilliant!

Here's a little video to give you a taste of what it was like:



When the teams got to the gates of Chinatown, we had them do some Olympic-style ribbon dancing. There are about 18 videos of said dancing on the Banditos channel of YouTube but here are a few of my favorites (for you lazies out there).

The swing ribbon dancing team:



The kids:



And then there's these people:



I still can't get over how amazing it is that with just a little organization (OK, A LOT of organization) and an internet connection you can bring complete strangers together to ribbon dance through Chinatown. Man, life is good.

Glad To See I'm Not The Only One With The Dirty Mind

Biggest laugh of the day.

Thanks Google.

And The Award For Most Appropriate Use of the Internet Goes To...[The Envelope Please]

I have been to many many webpages: Stuff on My Cat, Fat Chicks in Party Hats, Stuff on Christopher Walken, White Chicks and Gang Signs...

All are examples of appropriate uses of the internet, but they pale in comparison to my newest find:

Manbabies.com

If there was ever a more perfect use of Photoshop, I haven't seen it.

Bravo, Manbabies.com, bravo!

It's DivMo's Birthday, Uh! Happy Birthday, Uh! And They Said It Wouldn't Last! [OK, They Didn't, But I Couldn't Resist The Michael Jackson Reference]

That's right, exactly 1 year ago today, Diverted Motion was born! Who knew the internet would even exist a year later, let alone that I would still be writing on it!? (In it? Ew.)

But here we are friends. And oh, what a year it's been! Who's surprised my top posts for the year are comprised of phallic weathermen, a lesson in making fake-ids, social network suicide, and lesbian Golden Girls? Or that my top 3 traffic-generating search terms are "lezby," "Jonas Brothers suck," and "how to make a fake id"? DivMo was founded on the principle of catering to sexual, musical, and legal deviants, so I consider these traffic findings a sign of a job well (deviantly)-done!

And to celebrate our 1st year together, I brought cake!

And 2 dogs fighting over a pinata!

And a Birthday Faery from the same Angelfire gif factory where FiHo was born.


And because no DivMo post could be complete without a really crappy YouTube video, here is the most pixeltastic tribute to birth I could find (and it only took me a two second-search! Thanks YouTube.)



You think DivMo's naughty now, wait 'til we hit the terrible twos!

The Internet: Bringing Nerds and Nudity Together Since The 1980s [Quite Possibly The Most Important Purchase Of My Life]

Thanks to the gloriousness of our fair internet, I am now (or will at least soon to be once it arrives in the mail) the proud owner of the March 1995 issue of Playgirl featuring the one... the only... Scott Bakula!!!!


Having never actually seen an issue of Playgirl, this will finally end the debate over whether Playgirl shows ween. I've got 5-7 business days to brace myself for the answer.

And for those uninitiated into the wonders of Quantum Leap, here's a little taste of the magic (set to the tune of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"):

OMG! Google Admits To Using Flux Capacitor To Manipulate Time [What Happened To 'Do No Evil'?]

So I was sifting through my Gmail this morning when I came upon an exciting new (red fonted!) link to a new feature: "New! Gmail Custom Time"



Being the total tech nerd I am, I was all like "Ooooh new features! Gimme Gimme!"

I mean, how awesome does this sound:

Just click "Set custom time" from the Compose view. Any email you send to the past appears in the proper chronological order in your recipient's inbox. You can opt for it to show up read or unread by selecting the appropriate option.

Like so awesome! But with all great options there are limits:

You'll only be able to send email back until April 1, 2004, the day we launched Gmail. If we were to let you send an email from Gmail before Gmail existed, well, that would be like hanging out with your parents before you were born -- crazy talk.

Though to prevent people from truly going the way of the devil and lying about all of their email send times, Google's only limiting this option to 10 times per year.

Our researchers have concluded that allowing each person more than ten pre-dated emails per year would cause people to lose faith in the accuracy of time, thus rendering the feature useless.

The only downer? It doesn't seem to be working yet in my mailbox!! Laaaame. If you're having similar problems, you should join me in emailing them to let them know you want the feature to work!

Why Give A Kid A Pony When They Can Just Ride Rover? [Three Days Later and I'm Still Laughing About Kids Riding Dogs]

For those of you out there who were thrilled by the informative Teaching a Kid to Ride a Dog website that I posted about last Friday, but thought "Man! That's a brilliant idea, but that could never happen in real life, right?" I have culled the depths of YouTube to bring you video proof (!) that kids can indeed ride dogs.

"Riding Rudy" (set to the soft musical stylings of "Forever Young")

"Justy and Jagger" (fluffy dog alert!)

"Madelyn Riding Dog" (this one is particularly nerve-wracking given the tininess of the baby)

"Girl Rides Dog" (not only is the dog in question a tiny dachshund, but the dad actually advises the baby to "Grab her by the ears!")

And the winner for the most oversized kid riding the most undersized dog while wearing 'super fly' early-90s gear and demonstrating both the clean and dirty connotations of the verb 'riding' goes to...

"Andrew Riding a Dog"

The Most Important Websites On The Internet

Teaching a Kid to Ride a Dog


and if the training doesn't go well, visit:

CDC's Rabies Website That's Just For Kids!

5 Websites That Aren't What You Think [Wait, They Have More Than Porn On The Internet?]

All I can say is I really hope the cops don't have any reason to confiscate my computer any time soon to use it against me in a criminal trial. Because after all the 'research' I did for this piece, my internet history is a pretty scary place right now.

This is probably the most Safe-for-Work post I've done in a long time. Go figure!

The Website: www.access-scat.org
What you think it is: Some new perverse version of 2 girls, 1 cup (if you don't know, don't look it up--trust me), Animal Trackers Anonymous
What it really is: Somerville Community Access Television

Man, I hope their programming is better than their acronym.

The Website: www.scat.org
What you think it is: OK, this one has to be about poo, right?
What it really is: Nope! It's the website for Gold Coast Transit (formerly South Coast Area Transit out of Oxnard, CA).

Did no one get the message that scat = poop? How did that make it through a boardroom meeting? Hey, everybody! Let's ride the SCAT!

The Website: www.anus.com
What you think it is: Scary gay porn, a proctology discussion board
What it really is: The official website of the American Nihilist Underground Society

Who knew Nihilists enjoyed butt-puns? Or enjoyed anything for that matter?

The Website: www.vag.eu
What you think it is: British fannies
What it really is: A website selling an instrument that looks like a ween-whacker:

And you thought Teeth looked scary. Ouch!

The Website: www.funsexytime.com
What you think it is: OK, this one must be porn right? Or an online gay club?
What it really is: It's a... ah... picture of trees?


Bonus points for the awesome Arrested Development reference.

Fun fact: Apparently Amazon.com owns www.theinternet.com

And the award for the most completely random site on the internet goes to...

www.jesusismyhobo.com

Not only is it a real website, but it's been "Helping you pee since 2001" and comes complete with a giant Star of David.

Awesome.

Oh, and here is the short story Hobo Jesus and Chuck Norris Save The Morning by Matt McPherrin, the kid who's hobo Jesus pic I blatantly ripped off. Thanks dude!

News Flash! The Jonas Brothers Suck, Possible Links To 9/11, Bhutto Assassination? [YouTube Video Wars Are Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Tarding My Brain]

I'm not sure if you know it, but there's a war on guys!

And I'm not talking about 'The Iraq,' I'm talking about the YouTube war between Jonas Brother fans and ADiehardFOBFan. Idolator has been doing an amazing job documenting the entire incident, from the first The Jonas Brothers Suck video made by sk81337 (now stricken from YouTube for terms of service violations, but has been mirrored for posterity here, natch), to The Jonas Brothers Suck Apology video (which is really a "psych! You've been pwned! They still suck! And here's some more screaming Slipknot to prove it!" video), to when ADiehardFOBFan jumped into the mix with her aaahhhmazing "People are allowed to hate the terrorists responsible for 9/11, so I should be allowed to hate the Jonas Brothers" logic.

So long story short, there are about a million Re:Re:Re:The Jonas Brothers Suck and Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:The Jonas Brothers Suck videos floating around YouTube all full of questionable uses of grammar, hairstyles, and angst.

And although I was the only one at my New Years party that could successfully identify them as The Jonas Brothers when they were performing pre-ball drop (upon which I was immediately asked: "Oh, do you work with kids?" --Ahhh, no. I ah, just read a lot on the internet I guess...), I honestly couldn't tell you very much about the band. Except they look like this:

So you can see why teen girls might get riled up about them. Mmmm jailbait.

Though my favorite of all the Re:Re:The Jonas Brothers Suck videos is definitely Dan540's Southern Gentleman's take on the issue. Because really, when am I not fighting over baked goods, earthy elements, and wind? Preach on, Brother!

And I would be completely remiss in my coverage of this incident if I didn't draw your attention to ADiehardFOBFan's detour away from Jonas Brother hating to deal with the gravest enemy to Fall Out Boy fans everywhere: Ashlee Simpson. Not only is she dating Pete Wentz, but she--gasp!--might secretly be 'the biggest prep in the whole-wide world'! In case you had any doubt on ADiehardFOBFan's feelings on the issue, she makes it clear in her title: Ashlee Simpson is a crackwhore.

This video includes a numbered list of why Ashlee Simpson sucks (attracting fangirls! the nose job! lip syncing! tearing Pete away from the band! FOB is losing fans! and they have links on stories that they'll send you if you message them personally to prove their claims!!!!).

But their Number 1 complaint about Ashlee?? (and my personal favorite)

Check Exhibit A:

"What are you doing with your hand right there!"

"Why? I would never do that to my boyfriend! That's disgusting! Even if you're alone, it's... it's just creepy."

I'm sorry to break it to you girls, but when you get older, you'll start to get these feelings. They're perfectly natural and nothing to be afraid of. I don't know how to say this delicately... but sometimes, well sometimes when you really like a boy and he really likes you... well, you're going to want to touch the ween. And it's OK, don't fear it. Go with it.*

Though I've pretty much summed up the good parts, the video is worth watching for ADiehardFOBFan's friend's amazing Cousin It hairstyle.

If only the presidential debates were this exciting! (Then maybe I'd be paying attention!)

*You all better be amazed at my restraint at not linking to the Pete Wentz ween shots here. AMAZED.

DivMo Gets A Little Work Done In Time For The Holiday Season!

This holiday season, DivMo has succumbed to the major Hollywood pressure to get a little work done. It's a subtle, tasteful job--nothing overboard--but we've decided to be honest about it all the same. Unlike Ms. Mmhmm, I'll Deviate Your Septum You Little Liar, we are not ashamed to come out with the truth.

If you take a look at the handy-dandy column to your right, you notice an updated bio (akin to some light Botoxing and some lip plumping--just to refresh the face of the site a little). And underneath that wikipedia-worthy entry, you will find the most dramatic change to the site (hello, rhinoplasty!), a section I titled: What I'm Reading (be afraid).

Due to the incredible magic that is my Google Reader, I am now able to share with all of you the highlights (er... OK, lowlights) of all the things I've been reading on the internet recently. (Like Jacko's melting face, giant fake hands to hold your baby, a website taking bets on when Amy Winehouse kicks it...) All the important news on the internet, natch.

And for those of you technophobes out there (of both the shitty music and the rapidly advancing technology that produces it), I implore you to put aside your fears (at least on the computer end of things) and try out Google Reader--or a similar RSS reader. Feed readers are a lazy procrastinator's best friend (and if you're here reading this site, that definitely means you).

All you have to do is subscribe to your favorite internet sites (or at least the ones that have RSS-feeds set up--which are most these days), and instead of having to URL your way around the internet to find new posts, the Google Reader spiders are released into the etherweb and bring all that information to you!

Now you don't have to spend your days refreshing your favorite celeb blog for the latest gibberish rant! You just open your reader and that LOLcat-meets-haiku-meets-emo-wangst is right there waiting for you!

Not to mention the awfsome* offerings of your all-time. favorite. blog. EVER.


*My new favorite word ever--or at least for the moment--way way cooler than w00t 4sho.

Craigslist My Heart: How Lactose Intolerace is Threatening to Ruin My eLove Life!

This afternoon, while playing a rousing round of the "Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Game"* on Craigslist with my favorite co-ILL (internet love lurker) Jeremy, I was inspired to craft my own love missive.

(Full disclosure: my other inspiration for my CL post was my misreading of the word "Cuddle" in one post title as "Curdle.") The rest, as they say, is internet history:

The text, for those too lazy to click on the image to make it bigger (with an extra helping of cheese from Jer):

Let's Curdle!

I'm looking for a man that likes it his whey... If you like cottage cheese you'll love curdling with me! I'm a sweet curd girl with enough lumps and humps to keep your dairy tooth satisfied. Are you feta-up with the girls you're meeting? The single life left you feeling bleu? I'll brie your Little Miss Muffet, sit on your tuffet and make you feel gouda. Get in touch if you think we colby a good match! Just don't send me a picture of your pepper, jack. [Fat free American singles only please. No grating personalities.]

Then, I--swelling with pride at my accomplishment and knowing that, given the way life seems to work out for me, this quite possibly could be the way I meet my soulmate--left my computer unattended to go out for a run in the real outdoors.

No sooner do I come back--Less than 1/2 an hour later!--and I see DRAT! my post has been maliciously flagged and dragged off the Craigslist servers.

DAMN YOU CRAIGSLIST! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME FIND TRUE LOVE!

But I refused to be deterred! The post was going back up! With this sweet little addendum at the end:

Please don't flag me, because I'm cheesy; I'm here looking for love too--for realsy!

I again leave my computer unattended to take a shower and when I return GOOD GOD WHYYY??? my post has been flagged and dragged off YET AGAIN!

But in the face of all this hate, my resolved churned into a hard knot and I recrafted, retooled, and posted yet again:

Looking for a man who isn't afraid to get a little cheesy... - 24

I'm looking for a man that likes it his whey...

Are you feta-up with the girls you're meeting? The single life left you feeling bleu? Well I'm nacho average girl!

I'm looking to brie the best woman I can be for my man and make him feel gouda.

Get in touch if you think we colby a good match! (Just don't send me a picture of your pepper, jack.)

Fat free American singles only please. No grating personalities or lactose post intolerance.

Just because I'm sometimes punny, doesn't mean my mouth's not near my money. It has been up for almost half an hour now and I've already received 6 replies, including one date invitation from a guy who looks like Doogie Howser.

This just goes to prove, I might be mildly lactose intolerant, but love is not!

There will be updates folks! Stay Tuned!


*Objective of the "Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Game": Pick out the most attractive, mentally well-adjusted and all-around suitable match for your playing partner. Rules: Make like it's opposite day and find someone totally twisted. The Winner: Everybody who plays the game wins! (Except the people whose desperate pleas for love and affection you're mocking. But they won't find out, so, ah... Everybody wins!)

Social (Network) Suicide

My internet personalities have gotten out of control. Fractured, neglected selves float along the internet tides: debris of interests, activities, and preferences cataloged in late-night bursts of solipsism. Out-dated dating profiles, reading lists, musical libraries... Do all of these casualties of waning self-interest really deserve internet half-life?

No.

It's time I performed some social network suicide.


And because no one wants to die alone, I'm providing you with all the gruesome details. Though it would be irresponsible for me to advocate that you take similar drastic actions against your virtual self, I won't lie: all the cool kids are doing it.

Site: Friendster
Purpose: The social network that separates those who went to college B.FB. (Before Facebook) from those in their earlier, more social network-savvy 20s.
Reason I Joined: It was my induction into the big bad social networking world.
Reason I'm Leaving: The fact that it took me 5 tries to even figure out what ancient email address and password combination I used to log in shows you how often I'm on the site these days.
Ease of Deletion (on a 1-10 scale where 1 is ridiculously impossible and 10 is instant, painless): 7. Once I finally made it in, I found the death option relatively quickly in the account settings.

Site: Intellect Connect
Purpose: A pro-geeks dating site
Reason I Joined: Friend coercion and mild curiosity to see if I'd go over big in the geek market
Reason I'm Leaving: Internet dating creeps me out; I apparently am not big in the geek market
Ease of Deletion: 9.5, an easy to locate "Cancel this Account" button is all it took.

Site: XuQa
Purpose: No clue what the hell this is for until I found the FAQ page: "XuQa is a giant online reality game played for fame and fortune between you, your friends, and 1,000,000 other players. May the best XuQan win!" I smell spam.
Reason I Joined: Who the hell knows. Probably a friend invite. I might have been drunk.
Reason I'm Leaving: Thank God I gave it an email address I barely use. This is some serious back alley social (disease-spreading) networking going on here.
Ease of Deletion: -1! After a lengthy search for a "delete this account" button on my profile editing page, I located the FAQ page which instructed me to locate an oddly placed "Settings" link which then provided me with a "Deactivate" tab which then gave me the message (I kid you not):

"Deactivation is temporarily disabled."

Um, what? That's like me telling a guy I want to break up and him saying: "Nah, I think I'll pass on that offer and be your boyfriend indefinitely." Fine XuQa! Have it your way. You wont let me leave on my own accord--I'll freeze you out with the harshest kind of emotional rejection. My profile picture? Gone! My name? Changed to ". ." The language settings on my profile? Changed to Turkish! How do you like me now?

Site: Spock
Purpose: A search engine type deal where you get to tailor what information people can find while searching for you.
Reason I Joined: Peer pressure.
Reason I'm Leaving: I can't be trusted to put up appropriate information about myself.
Ease of Deletion: 2--possible, but involves a multi-step process. According to their FAQ page:

"If the information on your Spock search result was created by yourself or when you signed up for Spock, you need to go onto your search result, and vote down all the information using the voting function (for more on voting, see the section entitled removing tags from Spock.) After you have completed the above steps, please email info@corp.spock.com and we will delete your account."

I've never had to vote "no" against aspects of my personality before: no, I am not a writer; no, I do not provide emotional support; or chocolate; or blog; or exist on any plane as a "Badass Mofo"--I even voted against my own name. Since the site is more of a search engine than a social network profile page, there is a high likelihood their "spiders" will catch my other blogs and profiles in their webs eventually and recreate my profile--but at least it will be based on more "credible" sources than my self-tagging.

Site: Virb
Purpose: To be the next MySpace. But actually look good.
Reason I Joined: This site does show potential--some people's personal pages look totally bitchin'--but you either need web design skills or the $ to hire someone to do it for you. No nasty html "skins" to paste in here.
Reason I'm Leaving: No one I actually know is on Virb and I got tired of accepting "friendship" from bands looking to have someone listen to their "sweet trackz!"
Ease of Deletion: 9 -- In the account settings, with a charming warning note:

This is very permanent and by committing account suicide, there is no guarantee you will go to social networking heaven. However, if you must: Delete Account.

Site: I'm in Like With You (IILWY)
Purpose: "hello.
we think people are kinda fun.
so we made this site.
its not perfect. but we hope you like it.
go ahead and peoplewatch. people are kinda fun.
be careful. people are hotter on the internet. so its a good thing you're on the internet."
Reason I Joined: An invite from a friend.
Reason I'm Leaving: Um, I'm not. But aside from the evening I spent setting this thing up, I've never used it.
Ease of Deletion: 0--the insane beta test Web 2.0-ness began to make my brain implode with its cheery gradients and bouncing pictures and I finally gave up.

Site: Mog
Purpose: A social network for music fans. Download software that analyzes your iTunes library and your friends can see what you're listening to now.
Reason I Joined: I like music! And now my friends can easily browse my music library for things to "borrow."
Reason I'm Leaving: Maybe people don't need to know how often I'm listening to Fall Out Boy. I also only had 1 friend. And I haven't logged on since I created it.
Ease of Deletion: 10, like most well-designed sites, my reprieve was in the account settings with this guilt-inducing pop-up note:

"Are you sincerely, absolutely, genuinely, honestly, really, truly, truthfully, wholeheartedly, earnestly and fervently sure that you want to leave MOG? There is no turning back once you hit that button."

Site: Good Reads
Purpose: Social network for people who read books. You list the ones you've read, write reviews, make friends.
Reason I Joined: I always had a fantasy about cataloging ever book I ever read.
Reason I'm Leaving: I read a lot of trash and am never motivated to update my list, let alone write reviews of books.
Ease of Deletion: 8, for the fact that it took some serious waffling before I finally decided to be honest with myself. I will never find the time to keep that thing updated.

The social ties that still bind: Facebook (how else can I stalk my favorite reality tv stars?), MySpace (under duress, because everyone is doing it), OkCupid (strictly for research purposes, I swear!)

How I Celebrated Labor Day

Seven Ways I Celebrated Labor Day:

1. Slept in ('til 1:30 p.m.!)


2. Found a new blog to love (and read it from finish to start): Confessions of a College Call Girl


3. Witnessed the bastard birth of memes gone wild:



4. Discovered werewolves can indeed have sex with humans, even though scientists previously thought it impossible, from my new love: sci-fi romance novels.


5. Finished off a roll of toilet paper blowing my nose (attractive, I know).

6. Watched two hours worth of E! True Hollywood Story Investigates: Hot For Student


7. Ate a burrito.


Hope you all had an equally enjoyable Labor Day!

How To Tell If You Spend Too Much Time On Your Computer...

How can you tell if you've spent too much time on your computer? You say "delete" when you throw some papers in the trash.

Also might be a sign I need some coffee. Thank God I live in Boston.

My Brain in Google Images

The following topics, translated through a Google Image search, have been what's taking place in my brain at night instead of sleep. Psychoanalyze away!