Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned From PSAs and Batman

Things I love:

Public Service Announcements
Awkward Sexual Tension
My Bicycle
Awkward Man-on-Man Sexual Tension
Lifting Things
The Dark Knight, specifically the husky Batman voice
Shirtless white dudes
Best Summers Ever!

Because the internet loves me, it's given me all of my favorite things in these glorious Dark Knight PSA spots:

Bike Safety!


Heavy Lifting!


UV Protection!


Best summer ever, indeed!!

Font Jokes and Pynchon Illustrations [Uh Bailey, I Think Your Dork is Showing]

First, this pretty hilarious video about fonts courtesy of the College Humor gang. Despite my strong feelings about Comic Sans, this was pretty great:

And second, this artist named Zak Smith has made an illustration for every page of Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow.

For example, here's Page 1's illustration for "Beyond the Zero."

You can find the rest of the illustrations on Zach's site. They were part of the Whitney Museum's 2004 Biennial and are now part of the Walker Art Center's collection in Minneapolis.

For those unfamiliar, Gravity's Rainbow is the book you trot out at parties when playing the How Pretentious is My Dickishness Game. (I've read it twice since I'm totes pretentious and have a Biggish Dickish. I just write in LOL-internets speak to reach my wikipedia-mushed-minded readership out there! Hi Guys!)

Hat tips go out to the gang at Videogum and Mike for the links.

I promise I have something way less dorky and more low-brow in store for you tomorrow!

Guess Who Just Got Voted "The Best Kept Secret In Boston" [If I Post It On The Internet, It's Still A Secret, Right?!]

Enough with the community-servicey posts of Nic Cage punching chicks and photos of my patriotic toes! What's the point of a vanity blog if I'm not spending most of my posts talking about how great I am?!

I've wasted so much precious time bringing you the wonders of the internet when I should have been posting myspaced out self portraits and bragging about my achievements!

Well that all gets fixed right now because my urban playground group Banditos Misteriosos just got voted "Boston's Best Kept Secret" by The Improper Bostonian.

Just check out our totally rad 3/4ths page feature:

Also, remember that scavenger hunt I posted about a week or so ago? Well it went shockingly well (thanks for asking). Over 400 people showed up and all had a great time. I managed to have a great time too because I didn't end up going to jail for not have a permit for those 400+ people to be congregating on the Common. Woo hoo. Though really, the Henry David Thoreau in me wouldn't have minded a little jail time, because damn the man and ponds and transcendentalism are cool and all that jazz!

The basic premise of the scavenger hunt was that as people congregated, we made them into teams of ten so they could get to know their fellow Bostonians. At the designated time, one member from each team collected the team's passport and a map of the city. Each passport had 14 clues to different locations throughout the city. Once the team solved the riddle, they had to go to the location and find the Bandito. Once found, the Bandito had the team perform a task in order to receive a stamp for their passport. The team with the most passport stamps wins. (Congrats team Death Muffin!!)

Brilliant? Brilliant!

Here's a little video to give you a taste of what it was like:



When the teams got to the gates of Chinatown, we had them do some Olympic-style ribbon dancing. There are about 18 videos of said dancing on the Banditos channel of YouTube but here are a few of my favorites (for you lazies out there).

The swing ribbon dancing team:



The kids:



And then there's these people:



I still can't get over how amazing it is that with just a little organization (OK, A LOT of organization) and an internet connection you can bring complete strangers together to ribbon dance through Chinatown. Man, life is good.

Modern Dance Meets R. Kelly Meets Outter Space [The Best Thing On the Internet You'll See All Day]

...We now interrupt your previously scheduled 'Roo Recap to bring you this nugget of internet joy...

Those familiar with DivMo--or me--know of my great love of the collected works of R. Kelly. I don't have much to say about his recent acquittal except I didn't really follow it and sex with children is bad. I don't really care for R. Kelly the man as much as I care for R. Kelly's body of work. I am happy that future chapters of Trapped in the Closet will be made and I'm really keeping my fingers crossed that they will include space travel and aliens. Because really, Kelly has nowhere to go from this series but up and deeper into the black hole of his own brilliance.

As great as TitC is (lol "tit-see"), there is one Kelly song that eclipses it in my heart: Sex Planet. I loved it so much, DivMo used to have it's own "Sex Planet" tag, until in a fit of tidiness it got jettisoned. I even designed my first tattoo based on its themes.

Given my love, you can imagine the sheer head exploding joy I experienced upon finding the following clip of a modern dance troupe's interpretation of this lyrical masterpiece.



They might not win any dancing awards, but they have won a place in my heart. (And seats on my rocketship to planet Uranus.)

Oh Yeah, That's Right: I'm Posting a Video of Pandas Riding Down a Slide [Cute Overload Better Watch Its Back]

Because its faux-Friday (at least for me as I'm taking tomorrow off--NYC here I come!)...

And because I'm sniffly (and still trying to pretend it's "allergies") and this makes me happy.



If this does not make you happy, you have no soul.*

*Interesting factoid: when you Google Image Search "no soul" this is what you get. <--NSFW if you work in a Borat-unfriendly environment.

Kids and Their YouTubes [A Story of Offensiveness, Obesity, and Boy-on-Hat Crime]

There's not much I can say except the internet is a crazy place and my new gig blogging about viral videos for Bostonist has me sifting through pages and pages of Boston-tagged videos, which has introduced me to a whole new world of crazy crazy shit.

This is one of those videos.



Oh kids and their racism, hat-ism, and shovel abuse.

Look Ma! I'm On The YouTubes [Riding The Self-Promotional Wave]

A few months back a little sketch I wrote about the glories of made-for-tv-movies called "The Tiffani Martin Story" was committed to film by Downcellar Productions. It debuted at Improv Boston last Friday as part of their new film division and has now proudly found its way onto the internet. (The true home for all pervy and offensive things!)

YAYY!! Enjoy!



I would be totally remiss in my entertainment-providing duties if I did not also highlight the other hilarious commercial-parody sketches that came out of that day of shooting.

Hurley Brothers Home Furnishing



Connections: Daniel Plainview



Morelli Brothers Home Furnishing



And my personal favorite, Regal Osprey Blended Scotch Whiskey

Everyone's Got Ayds! [Reason Number One Ninety Eight I'm A Bad Person]

Best unintentionally worst product name ever. (This one's for you, Caroline.)



Side effects may include: Drops in white blood cell count, pneumonia, lesions, and death.

Because We're All About The Charity This Week On DivMo [The McLovin' Fund]

As McLovin' and his fake ID making-ways have brought a lot of traffic to DivMo over the year--or so says my Google Analytics--it is only fair that we in turn reach out to him in his hour of need.

It's not easy being a one-note comic hero. Forget those starving families, let's unite to pay some therapy bills!



Hat tip to Best Week Ever.

The New Indie Flick Marketing Model: *GASP!* It Involves MySpace [My Heart Is A Lonely, Deceitful, Idiot-Weapon]

I'm a sucker for a good title and the "My/The Heart is..." combo always proves compelling: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things, My Heart is the Worst Kind of Weapon (<--most emo video on YouTube, hands down)... And now we have a new documentary (so new it's not even finished yet!) joining the heart-y ranks: My Heart is an Idiot.

According to the movie's MySpace, this is what the movie's about (or will be about, when it's finished):

My Heart Is An Idiot is a documentary about love from filmmakers David Meiklejohn and Davy Rothbart. Currently the film is in post-production, which means that David spends more time in front of a computer than out in sunlight with normal people.

Spanning two years and over a hundred cities, My Heart Is An Idiot captures Davy Rothbart's manic road-tripping lifestyle as he tours North America in a van promoting his magazine FOUND, an annual collection of discarded and recovered notes, letters, photographs, and ephemera. Along the way, Davy seeks advice on his tortured love life from a motley crew of characters (including Zooey Deschanel, Ira Glass, Newt Gingrich, Damali Ayo, and a giant white dog named Amadeus), and attempts to follow that advice, with alternately comical and tragic results.

Like Sherman's March doused in Maker's Mark, My Heart Is An Idiot is a cautionary kiss on the lips of Generation Irony. When everyone has a strategy, love is unbelievable.

While I'm not sure I completely buy the premise that your MySpace comments will inform the artistic direction of the piece (at least, Dear God! I hope not), I do think it's a clever way to virally market this little indie movie with an ever-updating showcase of gorgeous shots and likable, quirky banter from the hipster-haired director.

Check out Trailer Chunk #1 to see what I mean:



Cute, right? I could see this popping up on many a Netflix queue in the future. Though I'm not sure I'd call my heart an idiot. More like a five year old on a sugar binge who gets all wound up and then doesn't know when to stop. Now throw that on the cover of a book add some "In with bullet, out with hearts" graphics to the front, and I've got myself a best seller!

Fact: It's A Lot Easier To Start A Pillow Fight Than To End A Pillow Fight [World Pillow Fight Day Recap: Boston]

As you know if you read my previous post, yesterday was World Pillow Fight Day and my urban playground group Banditos Misteriosos hosted it. With a little help from the Facebook social juggernaut and some great press from the front page of the Boston Globe's Living & Arts section (which you should totally read since I'm quoted in it and am officially famous now)...

...around 400 people attended the event. Which is awesomer than awesome. There are so many amazing pictures and videos of the event, it's hard to synthesize them all. Though I must say, I'm partial to the pictures I'm in... not for my sake but for my giant fish Winston's. (Man, does he love the spotlight!)

For example, here I am with Winston rushing into battle!

But really, when it comes to capturing the greatness of a massive flash mob pillow fight, nothing is quite as great as video. And, thanks to the glories of YouTube, there is a plethora of great videos to be watched.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Best video of the start of the fight and best use of the Mortal Kombat theme (EVER!):



Best Bill 'n' Ted-style commentary during the action (with most Banditos-per-square-inch cameos from Nick, Ondi, Ramy, and Jeremy moseying into battle)



Best footage of me hitting Caroline with a giant stuffed fish scored to the 90s rock of Everclear:



Best video of the fight from a small child's perspective:



Best Banditos-created video of the fight (courtesy of film guru Nick Carlisle)




Best Channel 7 News Coverage:



Best post-pillow-fight post-clean up hokey pokey:



Best time ever.

If A Silent Dance Experiment Happens, But Does Not Appear On The Internet, Does It Really Make A Sound? [Video To Make You Wish You Were Here]

On Saturday around 200-300ish people showed up in front of Faneuil Hall and hit play on their ipods at the same time.

The result was nothing short of awesome.

I mean, just take a look at the people who organized this thing. If this picture doesn't scream greatness, well then greatness has a really bad case of laryngitis and should go to a doctor to get that checked out.

[Photo courtesy of banditosmisteriosos
The hottest glasses-beret combo in town, courtesy of moi]

And now, for your viewing pleasure, check out what this place looked like to the common passerby who encountered our madness:

And here is the awesome awesome video that Banditos' film guru Nick Carlisle created and syched up to the Dance Experiment mp3:

More photos from the event can be found in the Flickr pools of: estratton, sergioni, yayrabies, and ittoku.lee

My Plastic Alter-Ego [Shattering Your Self-Image Against Rocks of Melancholy]

After watching my friend Tina's directing thesis last night--an awesome reproduction of Ionesco's A Frenzy for Two, which featured 72 massacred Barbie dolls--my friends and I began discussing which kind of Barbie dolls we'd be, if our personalities were molded and mass-produced in plastic stereotyped proportions.

Other friends were easier to decide: Fun Fashion Barbie, Serious Director Barbie, Happy Fuzzy Dance Barbie. But me... ah? "Collaborative" Barbie? "Writer" Barbie? Nothing really fit.

I was afraid my personality was doomed to be un-Barbifiable forever. But when I saw this "commercial," I knew I had finally met my plastic alter-ego.

Fun bonus fact: According to the end credits, one of the little girls in that clip is named Bailey! It's like totally fate. A tragic, morose fate that I will ponder over some Joy Division and a bottle of sleeping pills...

"Imma Gonna Love You And Miss You": Your Diversion For A Monday When Mother Nature Tried To Give You The Day Off, But Your Boss Missed That Memo

As my weekend consisted of hanging out under bridges with giant asparagus (asparagii?), getting thrown out of a bowling alley for illegal snow angels on the lane, and joining up with the banditos, having a snow day right around now would have been mighty nice.

But alas, I had a date with Word's track changes that I couldn't miss...

For all of you out there in a similar I'd-rather-be-making-a-snowman position, I give you the best online sketch I've seen in a good long while: Drunk History, featuring Michael Cera. Because while you might physically have to be at work today, that doesn't prevent your brain from taking a snow day. [This goes doubly for all you southerners out there: I'm still making up for all the snow days I missed while growing up in Florida!]

Though back in September during the great DivMo Hot or Not? Presidential Debate I expressed a predilection toward Grant's soulful, bearded gaze on the $50, Cera's sensitive portrayal of Hamilton's duel with Burr has melted my heart and swung my vote (among other things... lady-schwing!).

Grant's larger denomination be damned! It's not how much you're worth, but how you spend your money--right?!

At least I know Cera/Hamilton would call me.

Want more Cera goodness? Check out: Impossible is the Opposite of Possible

News Flash! The Jonas Brothers Suck, Possible Links To 9/11, Bhutto Assassination? [YouTube Video Wars Are Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Tarding My Brain]

I'm not sure if you know it, but there's a war on guys!

And I'm not talking about 'The Iraq,' I'm talking about the YouTube war between Jonas Brother fans and ADiehardFOBFan. Idolator has been doing an amazing job documenting the entire incident, from the first The Jonas Brothers Suck video made by sk81337 (now stricken from YouTube for terms of service violations, but has been mirrored for posterity here, natch), to The Jonas Brothers Suck Apology video (which is really a "psych! You've been pwned! They still suck! And here's some more screaming Slipknot to prove it!" video), to when ADiehardFOBFan jumped into the mix with her aaahhhmazing "People are allowed to hate the terrorists responsible for 9/11, so I should be allowed to hate the Jonas Brothers" logic.

So long story short, there are about a million Re:Re:Re:The Jonas Brothers Suck and Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:The Jonas Brothers Suck videos floating around YouTube all full of questionable uses of grammar, hairstyles, and angst.

And although I was the only one at my New Years party that could successfully identify them as The Jonas Brothers when they were performing pre-ball drop (upon which I was immediately asked: "Oh, do you work with kids?" --Ahhh, no. I ah, just read a lot on the internet I guess...), I honestly couldn't tell you very much about the band. Except they look like this:

So you can see why teen girls might get riled up about them. Mmmm jailbait.

Though my favorite of all the Re:Re:The Jonas Brothers Suck videos is definitely Dan540's Southern Gentleman's take on the issue. Because really, when am I not fighting over baked goods, earthy elements, and wind? Preach on, Brother!

And I would be completely remiss in my coverage of this incident if I didn't draw your attention to ADiehardFOBFan's detour away from Jonas Brother hating to deal with the gravest enemy to Fall Out Boy fans everywhere: Ashlee Simpson. Not only is she dating Pete Wentz, but she--gasp!--might secretly be 'the biggest prep in the whole-wide world'! In case you had any doubt on ADiehardFOBFan's feelings on the issue, she makes it clear in her title: Ashlee Simpson is a crackwhore.

This video includes a numbered list of why Ashlee Simpson sucks (attracting fangirls! the nose job! lip syncing! tearing Pete away from the band! FOB is losing fans! and they have links on stories that they'll send you if you message them personally to prove their claims!!!!).

But their Number 1 complaint about Ashlee?? (and my personal favorite)

Check Exhibit A:

"What are you doing with your hand right there!"

"Why? I would never do that to my boyfriend! That's disgusting! Even if you're alone, it's... it's just creepy."

I'm sorry to break it to you girls, but when you get older, you'll start to get these feelings. They're perfectly natural and nothing to be afraid of. I don't know how to say this delicately... but sometimes, well sometimes when you really like a boy and he really likes you... well, you're going to want to touch the ween. And it's OK, don't fear it. Go with it.*

Though I've pretty much summed up the good parts, the video is worth watching for ADiehardFOBFan's friend's amazing Cousin It hairstyle.

If only the presidential debates were this exciting! (Then maybe I'd be paying attention!)

*You all better be amazed at my restraint at not linking to the Pete Wentz ween shots here. AMAZED.

Breaking News! Adorable Internet Animals Are On Strike!

In solidarity with the writers strike, the adorable animals that have provided hours of internet entertainment to the bored office cogs and housebound alike have gone on strike.

The implications of this decision for CuteOverload are still unknown.

In my own show of support, I will refrain from being cute for the rest of the day. (Should be easy with the help of this awesome sinus headache!)

(NB: "Bestiality" tag employed for upping my Google Analytics stats only. Mwahaha.
Random web troller, you've been had. Now read my site anyway.)

You Morning Dose of Web Junk: It's Fun to Stay at the NMKY!

Not quite as spectacular as other more locally-produced versions I've seen, but you got to hand it to the Finnish for their bouncy enthusiasm.

Not to make you all jealous, but I'm going out on a date tonight with all four of the back up dancers and I have the keyboardist penciled in for Friday night.

Your Daily Diversion: Or Why I <3 The Internets

From the Filipino prison that brought you the much-forwarded Thriller (a must-click if you haven't seen it), I now present you their dramatic recreation of Sister Act:



All I can say is amazing. Who wants to try to get busted smuggling drugs into the Philippines with me? I bet we could do a pretty hot rendition of A Chorus Line.

My Office's Diversion of the Day: Puppets and The Village People

Check out the latest video clip to make the rounds at my office:



Nothing like a one-man performance of YMCA to curl the toes of a bunch of middle-aged early childhood education researchers.

Brings back some fond memories of last year's office Christmas party...



So proud to have my mad karaoke skillage all over the internets!